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Showing posts with label Spanx. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spanx. Show all posts

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Plastic Surgery Danger Signs

When I was a kid growing up on a ranch,
when someone said they were
"getting some work done" 
it meant building fence, hoeing weeds,  
 bottling tomatoes or a host of other chores.

Now "getting some work done" 
means paying someone else a lot of money 
to work you over 
into what you hope will be a better version of yourself.

Pay attention while Larainy alerts you 
to some 
 signs 
in the plastic surgery workplace

    • If you found your doctor because of a hand written advertisement with a tear off number on a grocery store bulletin board 

    • If the doctor's office windows are covered with newspaper and the reception area has leaking bean bag chairs repaired with duct tape

    • If liposuction room  has a dustbuster mounted on the wall






    • When you inquire about "lip plumping", your doctor pulls out a syringe and begins filling it with
    •  Your doctors solution to stubborn belly fat is to sell you a $900 pair of industrial Spanx and a elongating fun house mirror
    • His anesthesiologist wears a tool belt with a big mallet
    • A year after your procedure is done your friends keep asking you if you need to lie down or volunteering to bring you dinner while you recover from your car accident





    P.S.  I have enabled comment moderation 
    due to an exciting new following of neanderthals!