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Showing posts with label abstaining from sugar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abstaining from sugar. Show all posts

Friday, April 16, 2010

Big Rock Candy Mountain High

There is a disturbing trend that I feel is

1.  UnAmerican


2.  Undelicious


3.  Unusually harmful to the psyche


What is this trend you might ask?  Well I'll tell you.


Banning sugar from your life

Oh, you might think this is harmless, but once you quit eating delicious Hostess cupcakes, Reeses peanut butter cups, ice cream and the like, you will become so irritable and unloveable that no one will want to be around you and you may:

l.  Get divorced and lose custody of your children because you have denied them Marshmallow Maties and made them eat Bran Flakes

2.  Lose all your milkshake swiggin' friends

3.  Lose your sugar control in a violent outburst , leading to the breaking and entering of a donut shop where the police will find you lying bloated in front of an empty donut display with jelly and powdered sugar on your lips.


If the good Lord 
had wanted us to abstain from sugar
Why did He create

 The Big Rock Candy Mountain?