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Showing posts with label family Christmas letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family Christmas letter. Show all posts

Monday, December 24, 2012

All the News That is Not Fit to Print

Eddington Family
Christmas Letter
2012 

After Mitt Romney lost the Presidential election, we spent two boring weeks in our homemade fallout shelter eating pork 'n beans out of the can, staring at the Mayan calendar and waiting for the world to end.  When we surfaced to check out our cat snare, we found out that everything looked surprisingly normal, so we went to QT and bought celebratory soda pops.  Since we're still alive, it's time to pass on the family news just one last time.

Rachael and Damon finally came to their senses and moved closer to free babysitting.  Their exodus from Texas to a lovely home just five minutes away from us still has us waking up singing Zippedee Doo Da.  Nearly every day we get to watch Zoey turning cartwheels on the lawn, hear Liam's latest obscure factoid about vampire squid or see little Josslynn's newly minted bowlegged running skills as she chases down the dog.  It's heavenly.

Cody and Breaelle continue the scholarly life at BYU while Cody finishes up his last year learning to communicate and publicly relate to others for profit. They spent the summer in Denver again and Cody sold more pest control contracts than there are pests, the mark of a true salesman.  He can't wait to graduate so he can have more time to control the fish population one cast at a time.  Breaelle can't wait for Cody to graduate so he will have less time to fish.  Brylinn has her own Barbie fishing pole and she knows that as long as there are fish, her daddy will make the time.

Max spent the summer in Alaska driving tour buses for a Cruise Line.  Objectives: dodge the moose, charm the tourists out of big tips, hike tall mountains and make wonderful friends.  He put us into a jealous frenzy sending weekly pictures that all looked like screen savers while we were suffering through another desert sizzler.  He is heading up to the University of Utah in January, transferring from BYU (which I didn't even know was legal).
 
Joey has been serving in the Utah, Ogden Mission since June and it is just as exotic as he though it would be.  His first zone consisted of 2 Canadians, 1 Native American, 1 Norwegian, 1 New Zealander, 1 Guatemalan, 1 Samoan, 1 South Korean and a British missionary with Elder Eddington serving as the token American.  He loves the people, the amphibians and preaching the gospel in the Wasatch language as only "The Joey" can.
 
Corinn is taking her last child in the family duties seriously as she demands mani/pedis every Thursday and organic corn nubbins overnighted from Iowa for her pet duck.  She divides her time between a Nurse Assistant Certification course and the rest of her senior classes at Mr. View.  When she graduates in May she will be eligible to both change adult diapers and go on to college, where she plans to become an RN so she can boss around her own CNA.
 
Darn, I'm all out of room so I can't post a photo of Mark and I.  Just take my word for it, we still look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie...without the tattoos.  However, now that Mark isn't Bishop anymore, he has been seriously considering getting a tasteful tattoo of me in my Zumba-tard emblazoned on his left bicep.  (Either that or the one of me planking in my snuggie.)
 
Here's wishing you days that are merry and bright
and nights that are warm and snuggly!
 


Friday, December 3, 2010

Straight From Larainy's Christmas Mailbox

Dear reader, I'm well aware that you are dying to sneak into my house and root through my stack of Christmas cards to see if I really did get one from Michael Buble like I told you I did.  I know I would jump at the chance to snoop through your mail to see if Donny Osmond really sent you a 7-page Christmas letter.   (Which I would follow up with a swift perusal of your medicine cabinet.) 


So, since curiosity killed the cat and I don't want any feline blood on my hands (ewwww) I am going to share with you brief snippets of Christmas letters from a few of Larainy's dearest friends.


 ...Elberta and I have finally retired from the club.  When she was injured doing a cartwheel and that cheapskate Vinnie refused to chip in for a hip replacement, it just took all the joy out of exotic dancing...




... Mary Ellen came home from her stint in the Congo wearing leopard skin pants, and Bart refused to let her return to the Peace Corp.  We thought she was supposed to be digging wells, not shooting endangered species...


...Beth may be the youngest member of the clan, but when she gives her ""girl power"  salute, we immediately take her to Wendy's for a large Frosty before she lays the hammer down..




 ...and so I said "like, fer sure I'm totally down for teepeeing Taylor Swift's dressing room...because she is like, such a poser"...






 ...and you would never know it, but Regina got braces this year...






 ...Daryl is intensely focused on receiving his Eagle Scout Award and always has a rope handy to practice his knots...




...After Conrad got laid off when the grease fire burned down Denny's, we couldn't afford our summer vacation at the beach. We didn't want to disappoint Eddie so we got him a sandbox and a mural...




 ...Chip finally got his lettermen jacket back from that awful Ashley and we haven't heard a peep out of her since the incident at Kmart with the baseball bat and the subsequent restraining order...


 ... little Damon has been a good deal calmer since the exorcism and the neighbors haven't complained about missing pets since April...


 ...Tim and Timothy are still in therapy, trying to carve out their own identities.  So far, Tim has taken a bold first step and admitted that he doesn't really like turtlenecks...



 ...unfortunately, Jeffrey quit ROTC when they he found out that a saxophone that shoots poison darts is not an approved military weapon...


Here's hoping your mailbox is filling up with Christmas letters!




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