Somebody's Weight Watching You

Yes, I have been to Weight Watchers.  I have gone to meetings wearing clothes made of gauze and taken off my shoes to meet my goals.  Brothers and sisters, I have counted points.  Hallelujah.  

In honor of those who have ridden on the W.W. Wagon, or the Jenny Craig Bus, or the Cow Urine Express, I have composed the following motivational song to get you through the holidays.  I have also researched and found some delicious old Weight Watchers recipes that are sure to delight.

 

You and your guests are surely going to be snapping up your mackerel! 




         No one can pass 
         up a fishball!

Have Yourself a Low-Fat Little Christmas
(to be sung to the tune of a song with a similar name)
By Laraine F. Eddington


Have yourself a low-fat little Christmas

Let your treats be light

More whipped cream

Will only make your pants too tight

Have yourself a skimpy kind of Christmas

Starve yourself this year

Gaining weight does not

Equate to Christmas cheer

Have yourself a low-fat little Christmas

Did you know that over night

Fudge turns into

Something known as cell-u-lite?

CHORUS:

When you are at the grocery store

In the pastry aisle… again

Roll on by

Those evil jelly rolls

Or you never will be thin.

Through the years

We’ll all count points together

And if we pay our dues

We’ll look e-ma-ci-ated

E-ter-nal-ly!

So have yourself

A Christmas totally fat-free.

 

Nothing says love like

frozen brown liquid

 

Salmon jello...sculpted with your own salmonella-free hands

 

Can be made with beets,  leftover cabbage or strips of raw liver

Ahhhhh, nothing quenches like a long cool glass of beef bouillon.

If you can wind a hotdog around a pineapple

you are ready for Iron Chef

 

Only real hunger would inspire you to eat this bowl of scariness.

 
 

Straight out of a slasher movie

This children, is your brain on drugs...with dipping sauce!

The secret to Weight Watchers Success...The recipes!