My Least Favorite Things
(With apologies to Oscar Hammerstein II)
Bird poop on roses and mangy bald kittens
Aluminum kettles and moth eaten mittens
Brown paper packages with volatile things
That explode when I pull on the wrapping strings
Losing race ponies that shoot my caboodle
Door bell at midnight by neighbor with poodle
Vampire bats with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my least favorite things
Boys in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on the road and cause crashes
Silver white winters that won’t melt in Spring
These are a few of my least favorite things
When my heart sings
When I'm feeling glad
I simply remember my least favorite things
And then I start feeling bad.