So You Married a What?

 

When your daughter gets married, you acquire something called a son in law.  

This is not optional except in certain states like New York.

I don't like to think of my son in law as a son in law.  

I prefer to think of him as a son who will never have trouble with the law.

When we first met he asked what I would like him to call me.  I told him he could call me Laraine.  I later retracted and asked to be referred to as "your highness" but unfortunately, at that point it was already too late in the relationship to develop in him a properly subservient tone.

There are disadvantages to these men who permanently attach themselves to the fruit of your loins.  They frequently whisk your daughters away to the far flung reaches of the universe, i.e. Texas, where it is difficult to properly interfere in their daily lives.  But, there are also advantages.  Let's dwell on the sunny side of the street, shall we?

Advantages of having an extra man in the family:

Photo by talented daughter with remote in her hand

• He will participate in the production of quality grandchildren

• If you glare at him in a pointed manner he will sometimes produce a faint chuckle/cough at your jokes

image found here

•  If your daughter chooses wisely he will have the ability to mimic Mike Myers Scottish accent in So You Married An Axe Murderer 

• He will ask deep soul searching questions like "If Emily and Charlotte Bronte had a smackdown, who do you think would win?"

What's not to love?