Siri: My Genie in a Bottle

I don't have a "smart" phone which, by default, means I have been walking around for years with a "dumb" phone sending deadly radiation into my noggin.  No wonder my children laugh when I send text messages

Wheree in the heck  iis th comma key i cant live w/o comas 

Now that I finally figured out that my phone is dumb I'm going to trade it in for a "smart" phone.  I asked for one for my birthday a couple months ago and my technical advisers on all things Apple, namely son Cody and daughter in law Breaelle

advised waiting until the new iPhone came out.  

Now generally, I do not believe it is in my best interest to delay receiving birthday presents because when it is my birthday I demand honor, cake and a pile of presents before the clock strikes twelve, but this year I pouted and waited.

Finally, Apple made their big announcement, which turned out not to be not as big as everyone hoped because the new iPhone 4S does not test for DNA or have a laser for hair removal.  Sigh

 But

 it does have an itty bitty "personal assistant" whose name is Siri. Suddenly I have the potential to be Larry Hagman on  "I Dream of Jeannie" with Siri as my own personal Jeannie, only she lives in a phone instead of a bottle and she probably doesn't have a bun on her head or wear a scarf that does not cover cleavage. 

I am already composing a list of commands to give Siri when I finally get my smart iPhone 4s

• Siri, cast an illusionary spell so my jeans don't make my bum look big
• Siri, warn me before I step in dog poo
• Siri, tell me where Moammar Gadhafi is so he can be brought to justice
• Siri, what shall I do with my stock portfolio
• Siri, what is a stock portfolio
• Siri, I feel like cranky mcscooter pants.  Cheer me up
• Siri, which checkout line is going to be faster

I just can't wait to boss Siri around