Halloween Safety Tips

Of course, I  am being totally insincere 
in wishing  you a "spooktaculous" Halloween

  because the only wish Larainy has for this 

 sugar soaked night of unbridled panhandling

is for you and your little darlings to be safe.   

Hence,

a cautionary list to protect you and your wee ones

  

1.  You may think that old tales of razor blades imbedded in apples are only urban legends, but don't be fooled by the modern incarnation called "apple with a handle"

 2.  Avoid the home that features year-round red and orange lights, skeletal Santas and a "Haunted Christmas theme"

image found here

3.   Don't be fooled when you see this innocent looking threesome.  You can identify the infamous "Peavler Gang" by their innocent smiles and Snicker flavored breath.  If let them get too close you will never see your hard earned candy again

4. Be aware that in Republican neighborhoods, you are more likely to get a long boring lecture about the flat tax before you get a KitKat


5. Be aware that in Democrat neighborhoods you are more likely to get a hunk of government cheese

6. I don't care how smokin' hot they make your calves look.  Don't try to trick or treat in these

7.  Don't drink Koolaid with this guy.  In fact, run when you see him because he will never be able to catch you














8.  Avoid all treats served in green tupperware labeled "meatloaf, April '09"


9. Do not accept any candy sealed in cat hair instead of plastic

10.  Recognize that anyone handing out Almond Joys is trying to impress the parents and probably needs a friend