The Arizona legislature, under intense lobbying pressure from K.W.L.S. (kindergarteners who love sparklers), passed a law allowing limited fireworks to be sold and blown up in Arizona.
Erring on the side of caution, the joys of blowing things up are somewhat curtailed by the stringent controls.
a) Children over the age of 4 years may hold one sparkler in the dominant hand providing they have not consumed more than 4 cups of koolaid. Said child must be standing next to a swimming pool, wearing a coast guard certified life vest, ready to jump in the likely event his/her hair catches on fire.
b) Children over the age of 12 years who have a GPA of 3.0 and are CPR certified may ignite one black cat firecracker per hour during the hours 6pm-9pm on July 4th, providing they are accompanied by at least four generations of related adults, none of which have felony convictions.In spite of all the safeguards. If you give an Arizonan an inch, he will blow up a mile. Last night my neighborhood sounded like a lively day in Libya. The dog was howling, the palm trees were shivering, the smoke was thick and the smell of cordite overwhelmed the smell of hamburgers on the grill.
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I climbed on the roof, inhaled and sang "God Bless America"
to the beat of our neighborhood percussionists.
Man, I love this country!
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