Bird by bird

You have probably been biting your nails with anxiety over

 this boy...

who you may remember bullied me with three solid weeks of a freakishly clean room in order to obtain a bird to keep him company during the hours he spends doing homework and playing melancholy cello music in his lonely room.

I won't torture you an account of the grueling process and l-o-n-g afternoon of searching for the perfect parakeet.  Low lights include:

• three pet stores, all which smelled like untrained dogs and moldy amphibians

• the painstaking evaluation to find  the perfect architecture in a "cage" that doesn't look like a "cage"

• watching Joey cock his head from side to side, staring without blinking, seeming to morph into on the of the birds he was piercing with the laser like focus of his intent blue eyes

• an excruciatingly long process of elimination to choose an ideal bird amongst the fluttering herd

Dear readers, may I introduce...

Pam

All this for a bird named after a cooking spray

Advantage...Joey

       This boy      

               

came home from high school with a wild story about 

a teacher who owned a corn snake...

 which had given birth to baby corn snake.

"What in the world does this have to do with me?" I asked in a futile attempt to ignore the obvious.

Thus, Joey formally opened the lobbying process to obtain another pet. 

Now I have been down the winding snake highway many times before and I know where it goes.

Me:  I DON'T WANT ANOTHER SNAKE!

Joey:  Mom, it's only as long as a pencil.

Me:  Pencils don't grow or wolf down rodents head first.

Joey:  I'll keep it in my room and you won't even know it's there.

Me:  You won't even know it's there because your room is so messy you won't be able to find it.


At this point, Joey withdrew for tactical reasons; stunned by my forceful Mommy logic and the guilt inducing maneuver that I have carefully honed for 28 years.  But ever vigilant, I continued to keep up my guard, sleeping with one eye open and watching for further signs of assault.


However, Joey has developed his own set of skills and they are formidable.


Joey:  Mom, I have a proposition for you.


Me:  Judgmental eyebrow raised high  Oh?


Joey:  If I keep my room clean for 3 weeks, and pick up dog poop, will you let me get a parakeet instead of a snake?


Me:  Mind racing and naivete oozing from every pore  Oh sure, you're going to keep your room clean for 3 weeks and clean up after the dog without being asked?  Of course you can get a parakeet.  Wink wink, nod nod.

 First came the chart.  What Mother can resist a chart with check marks?

 Then came an era of cleanliness unknown to exist in this corner of house for many years.  Of course the bed is unmade but that would just be too weird.


Looks like the feathers will by flying soon.