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Showing posts with label Siamese fighting fish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Siamese fighting fish. Show all posts

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Would You Believe?

 


In spite of my husband's fear that listening to NPR will turn my brain into a liberal square of organic tofu, I persist... tuning in to Rush Limbaugh for counterbalance.  

1 Hour of NPR = 10 minutes of Rush (because he is quite a hefty lad)





A regular feature of NPR's programming is called "This I Believe" 
which is based on a 1950s radio program of the same name.  Americans from all walks of life share the personal philosophies and core values that guide their daily lives. 

Well dear readers, since I am only a semi-copycat I am introducing a feature that I call

This I Don't Believe

because what you don't believe is sometimes just as important as what you do.

Let's get started, shall we?

 I don't believe that you went to Senior Prom with George Clooney and that he was desperately in love with you and asked you to marry him but then he tripped on your porch step and fell and hit his head on the decorative garden gnome in your flower bed which gave him a traumatic brain injury and persistent amnesia which caused him to forget you and go on to a spectacular career in TV and movies but to have lost true love.   
This I don't believe

I don't believe that Hydroxycut will change you to this...

from this


After only a few short weeks and some hair extensions and new gym clothes.   
This I don't believe





 I don't believe that chanting 

Good night sleep tight
Don't let the bed bugs bite

 Is a 100% effective protection against a New York City infestation of tiny critters anxious to hitchhike home with you after you visit the Big Apple because..."start spreadin' the news, they're leavin' in your suitcase today.  They want to bite a part of you..."  

This I don't believe


 I don't believe that your grandson, Ignatius


Is anywhere near as cute as my grandchild; with or without a pig
This I don't believe





I don't believe that your goldfish


Can beat up my Siamese fighting fish, Benny.  Especially if I get him really mad
This I don't believe