There's a Mountain in My Mattress

This photo of my bed looks quite lovely doesn't it?   You might even be thinking "Gee whillikers, that Larainy's style is amazing!  I wonder if she would consider coming over to evaluate my "space" and give me some fabulous decorating tips involving stainless steel appliances and ripping out linoleum. 

Believe me, all is not as it seems.  

Under the comforter, the fuzzy blanket, the crisp white 500,000 count cotton sheets, the memory foam, and the mattress cover, something has happened.   A geological transformation has occurred and our 3 year-old pillow top mattress has developed a ridge akin to the Rocky Mountains.

Don't tell me you can't see it - it's right there dead center!  Each night, after I say my prayers,  I climb onto my side of the bed and fall headlong into a cozy sinkhole. I sleep in the eastern trough and the husband is sunk into the western trough and a mountain range separates us. 

Scaling this imposing height is daunting at the end of a long day.  I weakly wave a tired hand, blinking a flashlight on and off to say goodnight and sometimes I can hear a faint echo from the hollow over yonder.  

Does Victoria's Secret make rappelling gear?