Sunday, August 14, 2011

There's a Mountain in My Mattress



This photo of my bed looks quite lovely doesn't it?   You might even be thinking "Gee whillikers, that Larainy's style is amazing!  I wonder if she would consider coming over to evaluate my "space" and give me some fabulous decorating tips involving stainless steel appliances and ripping out linoleum. 

Believe me, all is not as it seems.  

    Under the comforter, the fuzzy blanket, the crisp white 500,000 count cotton sheets, the memory foam, and the mattress cover, something has happened.   A geological transformation has occurred and our 3 year-old pillow top mattress has developed a ridge akin to the Rocky Mountains.

    Don't tell me you can't see it - it's right there dead center!  Each night, after I say my prayers,  I climb onto my side of the bed and fall headlong into a cozy sinkhole. I sleep in the eastern trough and the husband is sunk into the western trough and a mountain range separates us. 

    Scaling this imposing height is daunting at the end of a long day.  I weakly wave a tired hand, blinking a flashlight on and off to say goodnight and sometimes I can hear a faint echo from the hollow over yonder.  

    Does Victoria's Secret make rappelling gear?



    15 comments:

    Pondside said...

    I've never seen it advertised, but the last time I was in there with my daughter they had some, errrr, lingerie that had enough wire, elastic and important looking bits that it could, quite possible been just what you're looking for. I'm sure they had tiny hot-pink climbing caribiners.

    joanne fox said...

    I don't know what to suggest - but you have a lovely colour combination there!

    Holly said...

    A wall of foam between you? I will trade you mattresses if you could promise me that the lump carries sound proofing properties. The snoring is killing me!

    Marti said...

    In the winter, Mt. Mattress would be a problem, but in the summer, I have actually wished for something similar. Actually, I wished for an electric fence but since I sometimes cross the line too, a mountain range would be much better. Why? It's hot enough with summer heat and hot flashes without having someone else's body heat radiating over to me.

    Mamma has spoken said...

    My last matress did the same thing! It was a King size and it turned out to be the box springs. Guess all those commericals about the importance of a good box spring are true....

    just call me jo said...

    If you've used your mattress for 8 years it doubles its weight due to dust mites and other disgusting substances that slough off your sleeping bodies. I suggest a new mattress (and box springs.) That's all I know.

    Sarah said...

    My mattress is like that too, I have to sleep just right so I don't roll down the hill and onto the floor! It's so uncomfortable. Why us!

    Dixie Mom said...

    Well that's the scenario in my master bedroom as well. Happy trough sleeping to you too!

    karen said...

    It's a natural phenomenon, and I think the only way to resolve it is to rotate the mattress, or flip it, or something. But wait - it's a pillowtop? Hmmmm... I think you're stuck.

    Celeste Dana said...

    I'd say it's time for a call to your good ole brother. Under 10 years and they'll come in and measure the divots and if they're deep enough - you get a new mattress for FREE. That is if you bought from your good ole brother in the first place!

    My Inner Chick said...

    ---that is really screwed up :) Last time I saw that mountain in my bed, it was our big fat Tom Cat hiding! xx

    Sue said...

    Isn't that annoying when beds do that?

    We've now had our tempurpedic for over ten years, with nary a mountain nor a gully.

    =)

    Lisa Ricard Claro said...

    LOL Our bed slopes from end to end, so we end up smooshed together in the central valley. One of these days we're gonna spring for a good mattress.

    Ann in the UP said...

    Just visiting from Jan's Journey. You have quite a predicament there with your bed, but I must say it was described with much hilarity.

    I'll be back.

    Carmen @LifeLines said...

    I can totally relate....my once "sleeping on a cloud" luxurious pillow top is over 7 years old. :) But...it still feels good after sleeping away from home at times.