My dear readers,
It has come to my attention that most of you are extremely cheap frugal, which is oh so stylish this year. When it comes to gift giving you like to avoid driving to the store and wandering around aimlessly while you could be watching your treasured tivoed episodes of So You Think You Can Dance and eating chocolate moose track ice cream straight out of the carton protect the world's resources.
As usual, I can offer you the miserly ideal solution because I, like you am trying to carve enough out of the grocery budget to sneak in a pedicure live more "simply".
When a gift giving occasion arises, why not scrounge around your house and yard utilize your current inventory. Ordinary objects, if accompanied with a notecard full of crap imbued with enough mystique will be sure to please the most critical and whiny discerning giftee.
Because you are as steadfast as this
beautiful polished stone, please accept
it as a token of my respect
This lovely leaf drifted
through the air
and reminded me
of the way your mind works
You are still
beautiful
even though your
skin is getting
a
little crunchy
(For a potential love interest)
You
are soft,
you smell good
and baby,
you are
highly flammable
I
am so empty
when you're
not around.
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