Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Fine Art of Gift Giving

My dear readers,

It has come to my attention that most of you are extremely cheap frugal, which is oh so stylish this year.  When it comes to gift giving you like to avoid driving to the store and wandering around aimlessly while you could be watching your treasured tivoed episodes of So You Think You Can Dance and eating chocolate moose track ice cream straight out of the carton protect the world's resources.

As usual, I can offer you the miserly ideal solution because I, like you am trying to carve enough out of the grocery budget to sneak in a pedicure live more "simply".

When a gift giving occasion arises, why not scrounge around your house and yard utilize your current inventory.  Ordinary objects, if  accompanied with a notecard full of crap imbued with enough mystique will be sure to please the most  critical and whiny discerning giftee.

Because you are as steadfast as this
beautiful polished stone, please accept
it as a token of my respect 


This lovely leaf drifted
through the air
and reminded me
of the way your mind works 

You are still
even though your
skin is getting 
little crunchy

(For a potential love interest)
are soft,
you smell good
and  baby,
you are 
highly flammable

am so empty
when you're
not around.


Allyson & Jere said...

Genius gift ideas. I shall take them into consideration.

Loved your lead up to the gifts, 'cause all the crossed out parts are sooo true!

mary said...

This simple life could even lead to the revolutionary idea of giving gifts when we want to and not when we are told we have to. Maybe a spate of gifts like these you show, straight from the (broke) heart will inspire that kind of thinking.

Pondside said...

It would certainly put a stop to re-gifting!

Cherie said...

Those are hilarious - especially the leaf!

karen said...

I should have thought of the crunchy leaf for my Grandma's 99th birthday! It would have given her a laugh.

hiphousegirl said...

Crunchy skin haha! I wish I had a good saying to put with things like partially used cosmetics samples and that one cup that doesn't match any of the other cups. (Hint, hint.)

Laraine Eddington said...

How about:

Because of your friendship, my cup runneth over.

Sue said...

I think you've got me pegged. This is exactly the sort of gift I give. Frequently!


Sam and Melissa said...

I am holding onto that dryer lint idea for Valentine's Day. I'm thinking it will really set the mood

The Keylors said...

I am still reading and now I'm crying. ha!!!!! You are totally making my night!