Friday, August 13, 2010

Barbie Barbarity

WARNING!!!
Images that follow are extremely graphic
Cover your children's eyes if they have never
been exposed to Sponge Bob Square Pants

Detective Ken shook his head as he watched his new rookie losing his cookies in the bushes in front of the neatly groomed front yard.  Not that he didn't feel a bit queasy himself, Krispy Kreme chunks rolling around on an uneasy sea of iced latte in his stomach.  Yeah, it was a mess in there alright.

The call had come at 9:27 p.m., a frantic 911 from a pink Barbie phone, but by the time they got there it was too late.  This little lady was never going to make it to the Miss America pageant, never going to be an astronaut or bull fighter.  Her chance to wear that sweet white coat with the stethoscope draped around her elegant long neck or that gold prima donna ballerina outfit with the spangles... that was gone baby gone.

What had she done to provoke these two monsters?  Was it her flowing blonde mane that waved at them like a red flag?  Was it a sideways glance from those mesmerizing eyes, a flash of too much skin?  What?

Detective Ken barked at the rookie "Go get a statement and this time, make 'em talk.  Tell them we need more than whimpers."  The rookie wiped a trembling hand down his face and went up the steps.  Detective Ken took out the photos from the surveillance camera and took a deep breath.



 



















It was going to be a long night.


13 comments:

Cherie said...

Those pictures are just making me laugh!!
My boys are getting a kick out of them too. My boys used to take the heads off their sisters Barbies, this is much funnier!

Anna M said...

two dogs?

oh and, poor Barbie. She had it comin', but still...!

Lindsey @ Better After said...

She can always fall back on being Sideshow Circus Barbie.

Pondside said...

That will teach Barbie that just because something is French doesn't mean it's a good thing. Eau de Moelle Osseuse has nothing whatsoever to do with Moet et Chandon - and she should have thought of that before she splashed Eau de Bone Marrow all over herself.

Jen West said...

hahahahaha! Thanks!

Mel said...

You crack me up...thank you.

Sue said...

You are definitely twisted. In a very good way.

;)

Marti said...

Hard to feel sorry for Barbie though, I think the perps will get off on probation. Unless you present picture #3 with that killer look. LOL

Brittany said...

haha! so funny! I love all your posts laraine!

karen said...

Liked that one! Poor Barbie...

Chelsey & Seth said...

Laraine you did a brilliant job with the pictures!!! My doggies are thrilled to be such a hit. I think all the fame is going to their heads... We are all also very glad that the charges were dropped and the pups walked... ;)

Mr Monkey said...

there are no victimless crimes, funny stuff
Mr Monkey

Day Dreaming And Decorating said...

This made me laugh so hard! Thank you