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Showing posts with label pharmceutical roulette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pharmceutical roulette. Show all posts

Monday, January 10, 2011

Name Your Poison


In spite of obsessive hand washing and a strict "no kissing strangers" policy, I am sick with my second virus in a month.

Hack hack, drip drip, moan moan, gripe gripe


 




Because I am utterly desperate, and in spite of my aversion to this disgusting green slime blob ad campaign, I just gagged down a pill called "Mucinex". shudder









I think that pharmaceutical companies everywhere need Larainy's help in naming their products.  Especially if the best they can come up with are names like; flector, valmid, quide, hiwolfia, efudex, zirgan and hivid.  

I also think it would be a swell idea to provide combosymptomatic products that could efficiently relieve more than one malady at a time. 

A few suggestions:

1.  Vertigo and indigestion - DIZZUMTUMTUM

2.  Tapeworm and deafness - PARASAMPLIFY

3.  Frostbite and cavities - HOTTFLOSS

4.  Paranoia and myopia  - ROSYLENS

5.  Diarrhea and chapped lips - PORTAPOT-O-GLOSS

6.  Rattlesnake bite and halitosis -  VENOMFRESH

7.  Migraine and eczema - BRAINBALM

8.  Flatulence and carpal tunnel - ANTIFINGERPULL HEATED GLOVES


9.  Gingivitis and dandruff - SCRUB N' SCALE: THE TOTAL NOGGIN BRUSH


What combination of maladies do you want a pill for?