Thursday, November 17, 2011

Dawn Breaks at Midnight

Breaking Dawn is going to break before dawn at approximately midnight tonight. 

 

There will be giddy teenage girls and  women wearing t-shirts like these...


 professing their allegiance to either the hairy modified werewolf Jacob, or the sparkly modified vampire Edward.

I plan to protest outside my favorite theater wearing my protest t-shirt
 




You know Dobby don't you?  He's the noble house-elf from Harry Potter that bears a striking resemblance to Vladimir Putin. 


Let us compare and contrast the qualities of 
Jacob, Edward and Dobby

Team Jacob
Hairy
Good teeth
Protective
Good provider if you like rabbits
Gets the Native American casino discount
 
Team Edward
Sparkly
Bad teeth
Protective
Bad provider: never brings the venison home
Cool, marbleized skin surface very refreshing on a hot day

Team Dobby
Wrinkly
No teeth
Protective
Great provider: can fill the pantry with the flick of a wand
AND
Will sleep on the hearth, freeing up the guest room
No potential for making your husband jealous
Scares away burglars but kind to the dog

 Sorry Twilight, but my magical creature 
beats yours every day of the week

17 comments:

just call me jo said...

Oh, I be team Dobby too, I do! Much sweeter. I'm so sick of Twilight! You are, indeed, a Dobby Darling.

Connie said...

Oh dear, you are taking your chances on not choosing either
Edward or Jacob. Don't be surprised if you get hate mail. Not from me, I don't care for the whole Twilight phenomenon.

Love your loyalty to Dobby. Cute shirt.

lauren @ our big fat farm wedding: crazy ever after said...

Dying. Laughing. Best part: but kind to the dog. Ha!

The Bipolar Diva said...

you go girl! I have to say, your house is SO clean. I've forgotten what that looks like with a ton of minions and minions of minions running around my house!

jen said...

I love this. And willing to throw himself in front of a knife, don't forget that!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Haha. . .I can't stop looking back and forth between Dobby and Putin. Hehehe. . .

Anna M said...

are you wearing this to the midnight showing? sassy!

ME said...

When you asked if we knew Dobby all I could think of was Dobby GIllIS....Don't even ask!!!!!

karen said...

I've not been a Twilight fan, but my daughter went with some friends to a midnight showing tonight. I'd have given anything to be able to go with her and have some girl time with my girl. Even if it involved Twilight.

Pondside said...

I'm worried.
Dobby, I recognised, but the others?....no idea.

Holly said...

Really Laraine? Really? You made a t-shirt? Man, you are my idol. How do you have the time? I'm on Team Larainy!!!

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Sue said...

Um...

Can I join team Dobby, too?

;)

Brittany said...

haha,so funny!

Anna Lefler said...

Ha - I love this!

BTW, Laraine, I'll be at the Desert Ridge Barnes & Noble in Phoenix this Thursday at 7:00 if you get the chance to stop by and say howdy. I'd love to meet you in person!

Hope you're having a lovely Thanksgiving!

XO

Anna

Valerie said...

I never noticed Dobby looked like Putin. Haha! I read Twilight, but loathe it and the movies. I do not understand how it got so popular!

Michelle Teacress said...

I like your way of thinking. Can I be on team Dobby too?