Monday, November 14, 2011

Lost in the Frost

image found here
Last week Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry suffered a prolonged bout of brain freeze during a nationally televised debate.  His gaffe came very close to being unseen because it was part of the 579th debate held by an exhausted Republican field watched only by an audience who had been promised a frozen turkey and one can of Del Monte creamed corn for tuning in.  But, due to one alert cameraman tanked up with a 44 oz. Dr. Pepper, the moment was recorded and is currently being replayed ad nauseum.  

Perry's brain freeze occurred when he tried to come up with a list of three government agencies he was going to cut. 

I hate to be blunt, but hey Rick...duh.

Any search for a list of more than two items through a dusty old-style rolodex type noggin covered with graying hair is never going to end well!

Larainy is sorry for getting technical, but would like to provide to you, dear reader, a scientific explanation of exactly what happened.

Perry's stress induced adrenaline caused crystals to begin forming in the cerebrum's left frontal lobe which spread through the limbic system, in turn icing the 300 million nerve fibers called the corpus callosum, which shut down the dendrites and turned the brain into this
image found here
 ...all in the space of 3 seconds. The drops of moisture on Perry's forehead were not sweat, but melting ice.  It was a classic and highly visible example of glacialis cerebrum or brain freeze.

The President of the United States should be someone inspiring, who makes me feel good about myself, and suddenly, Rick Perry is a very viable candidate.***

***Should not be considered an endorsement.  All major candidates have offered Larainy vast sums of money NOT to endorse them.


just call me jo said...

I so feel for Rick Perry and Gov. Brewer and anyone else who has frozen. I'd freeze too if I had all that pressure on me. Our society isn't kind to any flaws unless you're a Kardashian (however you spell it) or someone who we expect nothing from any way.

Your explanation is sooo scientific. Thanks!

Melynda said...

Brain freeze is sooooo serious. But now I can relax, cause it IS an everyperson problem. but come on, how about those 3 closures?

Pondside said...

Thank you for the very erudite explanation.
It still doesn't alleviate my concern about a candidate for leader of the Free World who believes that some of his country's long-established religions are cults. That sounds like brain melt-down. The sweat on his brow could as easily have been molten lava....errr I mean brain.

Connie said...

It seems to me that Gov. Perry needs to do a little more reading up on government structure and a little less time spent on tipping the bottle. I will say in his defense though, the media is gonna crucify him over less than that so he better buck up.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

My last comment was swallowed by Google. I'd repeat it, but I don't remember what it was!

Roean said...

Not me. I'll take any sum of money to endorse whoever gives more. I'm really a very shallow person.

Sue said...

How I love your sense of humor. Seriously. It just delights me.


laughingmom said...

I love your brain freeze explanation - do you have a scientific theory on why all of the other candidates are having diarrhea of the mouth now that Perry has gone mute?

Laurel said...

I was the one lone viewer who saw it live. I think both Mitt and I felt kind of sorry for the guy, oh, you know, what's his name?

JEFritz said...

So that's how it works!

Marti said...

Thanks for putting your spin on it. And there I thought Rick Perry was just being a dufus.

Isn't it funny how the cameramen always catch the embarrassing moments and miss the important ones?

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

You are so funny! I'm relieved to learn of how brain freeze really works; I can't believe you found those top secret pictures from the research journals.

Maybe poor Rick should have had a bunch of Dr. Pepper first to keep him on the ball, but then he'd probably had to request a commercial break to use the facilities. Do you ever wonder about that? I've seen Michelle exit QUICKLY at times. I'd hate to be doing the potty dance during a presidential debate.

Michelle Teacress said...

Ooo, I saw that, and I really felt for him. I've been there all too often, and it's embarassing. But in front of thousands? Ouch.