Friday, March 9, 2012

The Real Housewives of Al Qaeda

image found here
It has given me great satisfaction to read that Osama Bin Laden's last days on earth were not spent in relaxation at the community pool or eating Chik-Fil-A at the Abbottabad Mall.  He was stuck in a crowded compound with 28 people, including three feuding wives.

The fun started when O.B.L.'s older, unfavorite wife, the shrill Sabar, moved back.  She chose a room one floor below the one O.B.L. was sharing with his young, favorite wife.

Thanks to Larainy's crack investigative team of classified document uncoverers, we get a glimpse into Osama's life of hell before he went to hell.

Old wife:  Osama, you once again forgot to remove the trash and now the house smells of old yogurt.

Osama:  Silence Woman!  How many times must I repeat to  you that being seen removing the trash will bring destruction down upon my head. 

Old Wife:  The expired yogurt brewing in the garbage can is destroying our brain cells even as we speak.

Osama:  We are not speaking, you are whining.

Old Wife:  And another thing.  Why have not you utilized the Grecian formula I purchased in your behalf?  A nice black beard would take off 10 years.

Osama:  As would shaving your upper lip.

Older Wife:  (Lunges at Osama to scratch his eyes out as he backs away.)

Young Wife:  (Enters room and whacks Osama on the turban)  Osama!  How many times have I told you to put the lid down!  (Wrinkles nose)  Wow, what stinks?

Osama:  (Throws up his hands and stalks off to lock himself in the bathroom)  


Sarah said...


Melynda said...

It just goes to show you that every neighborhood is just about the same.....well except for the multiple wives thing.....wait where does everyone live?

Pearl said...

Death was a relief.



Connie said...

If we only knew! Thanks to you we now have evidence that men everywhere #1. hate to take out the trash, and #2. they can't smell rotting food.
I wonder if he ever consulted a map while out riding his came?

RoeH said...

I want inside your brain. How do you come up with these. Love it! LOL!!

karen said...

I have to believe that death came as a welcome relief. So... has he now moved on to the 12 virgins?

Priscilla said...

As new Oregon residents, last week my friend and her husband went to the DMV to get a new license. They had forgotten to bring some documents that are now required for obtaining a license or state ID. They had to go back twice. Once because they accidently had picked up her expired passport instead of her current one, and the again when the DMV had to see an envelope with their address on it to prove they lived here. We know if she had been wearing her Burka, they would have been all too glad to give her her new one without any questions or grief!

Dixie Mom said...

I'm thinking he deserved that in house torture.

Connie said...

I guess the last sentence of my comment would make more sense if I would re-read my comments before I hit send.

The last word should be CAMEL! Hopefully that makes sense and I don't look like a complete idiot.

Pondside said...

I read the account of his last miserable days and thought 'justice!'.

Holly said...

My new favorite post! Makes me wish he hadn't died.

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

I can just imagine it all, lol!

Kathy M.

Holly said...

On the other wing!! You slay me. Who knew that chickens had such a broad vocabulary?

esbboston said...

This was good! It needs to be a regular series, OR in this case, irregular. I saw today (March Last Monday) that Pakistan was filing charges against them for being in the country illegally.