Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Bad Dialogue is the Best Revenge

This television show is full of filthy rich people uttering lines like this:

"I was captain of the equestrian team during my semester in Barcelona"

Because Larainy is such a helpful sort, with a rich imagination if not a rich bank account, I am going to send the writers of Revenge some lines to insert in future episodes.


"I told you to order the blonde caviar Inez!  Can't you see I just had my teeth whitened?"

"I simply refuse to return to Bermuda until they clean up those nasty palm fronds
 blown all over by that tiresome Hurricane Sandy."

"I know I just had my lips plumped last week Dr. Steinwitz,
 but they're still not as big as my couch cushions so try again."

"Of course I've known hardship.
  I once broke three nails on a rickety zip-line in Costa Rica."

"I'm going to serve real Coke to that witchy Sierra every time she orders Diet Coke and by next week she won't be able to zip up a single pair of those skinny jeans."

"Windsor, you know I can't wear rubies!
  When the chandelier hits them the reflections look like age spots."

"She looks as cheap as a 10% off sale at Neiman Marcus."

C'mon Larainy readers, give me some more!


just call me jo said...

You're too clever. I got nothin'.

jen said...

How about, "Harvard was so disappointed when I went to Oxford with Daddy's money."

Sue said...

No lines to add, just a confession. Revenge is my guilty pleasure. I watch it every week.

There, now I've outed myself.


karen said...

Really? You're going to make me think? Don't be dissing my Revenge. LOVE that show! Sunday nights are 1. Once Upon A Time 2. Revenge 3. Mentalist. Bliss!

RoeH said...

Revenge? Revenge??? I love Revenge. I have a whole list of ex family members. Alphabetized! Is that on the show? If not, I know a few one-liners. And names.

Pondside said...

I don't know the show at all but I think I'll have to look for it. How about ''Don't talk to me about family values. My plastic surgeon told me he wouldn't do Thaylor's nose until she was 12. I mean, I'm her mother!!!'

Laraine Eddington said...

These are brilliant. Keep them coming!

Laraine Eddington said...

My facebook friends came through with some good ones:

Karen: "You know I can't be seen in that. Now where is that diamond and emerald set I bought yesterday?"

Ryan: "Ugh...can't there just be the normal weird ethnicities here? These people don't know I'm better than them."

Kaija: "Not even a cubic zirconia would be that girl's best friend."

John: "Son, it is time you learned that there are people in this world who have to brush their teeth manually."

Benjamin: "Be careful around that one - he did time in PUBLIC school."

Kimberly: "I feel like a second-class citizen driving this truck...the Lexus is in the shop!"

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Haha...these are a riot!

Bianca said...

So sad we don't have that show here. Sounds like a hoot....