Bad Dialogue is the Best Revenge

This television show is full of filthy rich people uttering lines like this:

"I was captain of the equestrian team during my semester in Barcelona"

Because Larainy is such a helpful sort, with a rich imagination if not a rich bank account, I am going to send the writers of Revenge some lines to insert in future episodes.

~*~

"I told you to order the blonde caviar Inez!  Can't you see I just had my teeth whitened?"

"I simply refuse to return to Bermuda until they clean up those nasty palm fronds
 blown all over by that tiresome Hurricane Sandy."

"I know I just had my lips plumped last week Dr. Steinwitz,
 but they're still not as big as my couch cushions so try again."


"Of course I've known hardship.
  I once broke three nails on a rickety zip-line in Costa Rica."


"I'm going to serve real Coke to that witchy Sierra every time she orders Diet Coke and by next week she won't be able to zip up a single pair of those skinny jeans."


"Windsor, you know I can't wear rubies!
  When the chandelier hits them the reflections look like age spots."


"She looks as cheap as a 10% off sale at Neiman Marcus."

~*~
C'mon Larainy readers, give me some more!