Warehouse Takedown: Costco vs. Sam's Club

 




Why can't I decide between Costco and Sam's Club? 

Geez Louise, why am I paying for the privilege of being in two "clubs" that only want me for my money?  It's because I'm afraid of missing out on something, that's why.  

Sam's Club has Slim-fast

  

Costco has dried mango

Sam's Club has an old guy that sings about his samples

Costco has triple chocolate cake

HOWEVER, recently I discovered something that just might tip the scale for frazzled parents shopping with children.

In the Sam's Club bathroom, inside the biggest stall is a daycare center in the form of a holding device for your squirming, begging, whining little bundle of joy.

 When little Sophia/Ethan is securely strapped into this "shopping facilitator" and handed the four lb. box of these

You can lock the stall door, crawl under it and shop undisturbed for approximately 45 minutes.  (Don't forget the 12 pack of 12 lb. muffins.)

Warehouse Appetizers

Last week I was at Sam’s Club, wandering the aisles, pretending to shop so I could score several lbs. worth of delicious samples, It is always a good day when there are jalapeno poppers and not granola bars. 

Unfortunately, the store was not crowded which makes it hard to blend in with the teeming hordes and get seconds and thirds. Fortunately, I came prepared for this scenario with my red wig, fake mustache and  pocket sized rain coat. 
 
It was laughably easy to affect a 15 second transformation behind a pallet stacked high with Charmin. I strolled confidently back to the sample station and plucked another cream puff off the tray.

 
Those hairnetted harridans do not know how to deal with professionals.