Last week I was at Sam’s Club, wandering the aisles, pretending to shop so I could score several lbs. worth of delicious samples, It is always a good day when there are jalapeno poppers and not granola bars.
Unfortunately, the store was not crowded which makes it hard to blend in with the teeming hordes and get seconds and thirds. Fortunately, I came prepared for this scenario with my red wig, fake mustache and pocket sized rain coat.
It was laughably easy to affect a 15 second transformation behind a pallet stacked high with Charmin. I strolled confidently back to the sample station and plucked another cream puff off the tray.
Those hairnetted harridans do not know how to deal with professionals.
9 hours ago