Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Faking it

 fake Indian

There sure are a lot of fake Indians out there. There aren’t so many fake Native Americans, because that is a lot harder to fake. Being a fake Indian is much easier because you can take little bits from every tribe and put them all together to make a complete fake Indian package.

Like that guy that built a sweat lodge and sweated three people to death. I bet he thought; hmmmm, sweating under tarps, now that is something that will spice up my seminar and give me some southwestern mystique. I can get people to pay me a lot of money for that, especially if I throw in some eerie flute music.

Here are a few tips to help you recognize fake Indians.

• Fake Indians always have an ancestor who is a Cherokee princess 

• Fake Indians wear fake Navajo jewelry while playing slots at Gila River Casino

• Fake Indians charge $10,000 for a weekend of fake Indian “enlightenment”

• Fake Indians don’t have a sense of humor. They are embarrassingly earnest

• Fake Indians never drive pickups, they a have a bike or a Prius

• Fake Indians build sweat lodges big enough to hold “seminars”

The real thing

1 comment:

Emily Widdison said...

this post made me laugh out loud...just like the one before it. I really can't get over how much like skeletor Maria Shriver looks!

I know that my mom can't wait for Ruby to become of age and drive me crazy. I'm not looking forward to it.