Rescue by Armpit

Unlike my ex-bff Oprah, I do not go around spouting about all my "favorite things".  For example, when I purchase an exceptional toilet scrubber, I allow you, dear reader, the thrill of  search and discovery that only comes with autonomy. 

BUT

 I had to make an exception when I discovered this product.

 

With the use of my uncanny ability to read your mind I sense the question trembling on your winter-chapped lips...

What is so great about this deodorant? 

Dear reader, look closely and you will note that this special deodorant carries an ironclad promise of  
FRESH OXYGEN 
right there on the label.  Do you realize what this means?  If you apply a generous layer each morning, you have essentially turned each of your formerly useless underarms into a twin pair of lifesaving devices!

 Of course the first step to help an unresponsive victim 

would be chest compressions  which I am demonstrating here with my sweet little friend "ResusiAnnie"

 At this point ResusiAnnie is obviously not responding!!!

Immediately I proceed to step two. ResusiAnnie is positioned in the sheltering arch of my underarm that has been previously treated with a layer of FRESH OXYGEN

 

Sometimes it is necessary to grit your teeth and produce an extra burst of FRESH OXYGEN to fully revive your subject.

But don't give up!

Because nothing is going to make your day like saving a life with your FRESHLY OXYGENATED armpit.  Just look at the pink cheeks and happy smile on this grateful little gal.  She is probably grow up and name her first child after me.