Monday, December 27, 2010

Rescue by Armpit

Unlike my ex-bff Oprah, I do not go around spouting about all my "favorite things".  For example, when I purchase an exceptional toilet scrubber, I allow you, dear reader, the thrill of  search and discovery that only comes with autonomy. 


BUT

 I had to make an exception when I discovered this product.
 

With the use of my uncanny ability to read your mind I sense the question trembling on your winter-chapped lips...

What is so great about this deodorant? 

Dear reader, look closely and you will note that this special deodorant carries an ironclad promise of  
FRESH OXYGEN 
right there on the label.  Do you realize what this means?  If you apply a generous layer each morning, you have essentially turned each of your formerly useless underarms into a twin pair of lifesaving devices!

 Of course the first step to help an unresponsive victim 
would be chest compressions  which I am demonstrating here with my sweet little friend "ResusiAnnie"
 At this point ResusiAnnie is obviously not responding!!!


Immediately I proceed to step two. ResusiAnnie is positioned in the sheltering arch of my underarm that has been previously treated with a layer of FRESH OXYGEN


Sometimes it is necessary to grit your teeth and produce an extra burst of FRESH OXYGEN to fully revive your subject.

But don't give up!


Because nothing is going to make your day like saving a life with your FRESHLY OXYGENATED armpit.  Just look at the pink cheeks and happy smile on this grateful little gal.  She is probably grow up and name her first child after me.


18 comments:

Cindy said...

I really laughed out loud when I read this post!! Great way to start a day, laughing. I hope you don't mind but I am going to follow your blog. PS, I saw you won Holly's contest. Good for you!!

Dawn said...

Awesome!

Amanda- Hip House Girl said...

I had CPR training for NOTHING?! Sweet.

Thank you for the birthday wish!

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

You are so funny ... I laughed out loud too! The worried expression on your face as you try to help the baby is priceless. Happy New Year!

Kathy

Owens, LandM said...

OK - you are hilarious. Thanks for sending a smile my way - made my day in cold (((windy))) Canada!!

Chillygator said...

Your armpits were totally heroic that day.

Karli said...

Sis. Eddington, this is one of the many reasons I love you.

Sarah said...

Bahahaha awesome!

SherilinR said...

i love it when i find new uses for my body parts! great pictures to demonstrate your fabulous new product!

Anna M said...

lol ftw

JEFritz said...

Now laughing my ass off. Who knew deodorant could save a plastic baby's life?

Sue said...

May your armpits be blessed many times over for their heroic efforts!

;)

Corners of My Life said...

Congratulations on winning Holly's CSN give-away. I am glad I stopped by your blog for a great laugh!

Holly said...

You just may be the biggest dork I know, well, after me. Love the facial expressions.

Sarah said...

I was going to do a CPR refresher course before baby comes but now? Forget about it! I just need to run to the store and get some new deo!!! You are a lifesaver! In more ways than one!

Su said...

I think you have me over the legal limit for laughter on this one. Don't worry, I'll just get my own Fresh Oxygen, no need to come over.

LKP said...

i so very much needed this today, as i awoke with a sick taste in my mouth, a sore throat, and hardly a voice! thank you. :)

Angela Henrie said...

It will come in handy on the airplane if the cabin pressure drops. I can jam the kids into my armpits and THEN place on my mask.