Wednesday, December 15, 2010

You're Not the Boss of My Lips


My homicidal tendencies usually lie deeply latent, but during the heavy selling at Christmas by this guy...


my angry inner self rises to the top like foam on fresh eggnog.

If I see one more pathetic fakey couple smooching while someone croons "...every kiss begins with Kay", I am going to dust off my nunchucks and do some damage.

Now I hate to bite the hand that has a diamond in it, because personally I like sparklies, but my lips will not be held hostage by someone named Kay who makes the corniest, most pathetic gag-inducing advertising campaign on the planet.


And do you recognize Kay's top salesman?

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman


She says she designed this


to look like "an open heart"

Well excuse me Dr. Quinn.  I know that you were trained in a one room medical school somewhere on the prairie, but that is no excuse for this pathetic rendition of man's finest organ.  If you consult your "Grey's Anatomy" you will find a couple other body parts your little trinket resembles much more closely.

Listen up Kay, whoever you are, and write this down so I don't have to repeat it.  

Every kiss of mine begins when I say it does!

 

16 comments:

just call me jo said...

Oh, yes! I'd like to put a sparkle in Kay's stocking--like a firecracker or bullet. Do they think everyone just waits around each Christmas for their ugly jewelry. And yes, I do say that mainly out of jealousy and spite. So there.

Janet Johnson said...

Power to you! I'm no jewelry fan, but yes, that is a pretty self-important commercial. :)

Melynda said...

I loves me some diamonds, but you go girl! I am also a bit jaded by those who have the a lot (money etc, yes I know they worked hard - but hey so did we!), designing for the rest of the folks on the rung just below. We are suppose to just love it! But really is half bad, only good enough for the lower rung group? Oh, sorry I have to go to work now.

Dixie Mom said...

I hate those commercials. I don't like the pressure they put on our loved ones to buy chinzy crap. If I want something in particular, I'll ask for it.

Marti said...

I hate those commercials too. I bet ol' Dr. Quinn got the idea for that shape when she stepped out of the shower one morning and caught a glimpse of her pre-lipo'd body in the mirror.

Matthew Rush said...

Yay for testicular (or mammary) insinuations!

Anna M said...

I've been staring for too long at the "open heart" to decipher its resemblance to another anatomical part. Now all I see is a broken cobra. Or perhaps really weird mammaries.

And what does that even mean "keep your heart open"? That itself is questionable.

yes, great post. thank you.

Amanda- Hip House Girl said...

I know, right?? "Open heart" my foot (or insert name of other body part that is more closely resembled by this necklace).

Since we seem to share the same distaste for these marketing abominations, I must highly recommend the following video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzLWn3xTGL4

Also thanks for the book recommendation! Added it to the list.

The Bipolar Diva said...

I hate those commercials too! Yea! I'm not alone!

Sue said...

heehee

Have to agree that their commercials are singularly insipid.

=)

PS. And I hadn't noticed the (cough, cough) configurations of the lovely "open heart" creation by Jane. ;)

Jessie McCandless said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who can't stand those commercials!!

Liz Pezzuto said...

Yeah, those commercials are pretty ridiculous. And the open heart - just plain ugly.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Now that you've pointed it out, I shall never look at that necklace/ad again without seeing not a heart, but other body parts. And then laughing uproariously.

karen said...

Gad, am I the only one who likes jewelry commercials? They'd be better if they featured jewelry I really liked, but... I mean, kiss really does begin with K so I can't argue too much. The one I like less is "He went to Jarrod!!" What IS Jarrod??? I wish Tiffany would advertise, but that might push me over the edge. KayJarrod I can just dismiss with a "Pffft!" but Tiffany... I might covet that.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Amen, sister. To be honest, that "open heart" design looks like a "Z" to me and makes me think of Zales, not Kay. LOL Talk about poor advertising!

TheCreativeMrsK said...

THANK YOU!!!

I really do get pissed off every time I see one of those darn commercials. My family members or husbands can oft hear me say... "NO IT DOESN'T!!!" I'm glad another woman shares the same opinion.