It is so sad that many of you, my dear readers, are so out of touch with the beeyoooteefull people currently being adored by the rest of the world, that I am forced to inform you about a recent cultural highlight called
The M.T.V. awards
These awards are given to people who watch the M.OST T.V. and as you would expect, it is a GREAT HONOR!!!
Celebrities come from far and wide to see which of their friends has chalked up the most hours sitting on their bum during the past year and famous people brush their teeth, dress up and prance around for the cameras.
Since you missed it, I am going to recap some of the most exciting red carpet moments so you won't feel like such an old geezer if somebody much cooler than you asks you about it.
Of course the first celeb on the scene is always Miss Gay Paree Hilton, who was in such a rush to beat the crowd she just wore the feathers that stuck to her tanning oil after the huge pillow fight she had with her sister Nicky in their Hilton Hotel room
(which she stays in for free)
This little lady recently returned from a successful bass fishing trip
and is proudly wearing her catch around her neck.
Looks like she caught her limit!
Some men are bothered by their
diminutive stature (aka paltry elevation)
others, like Seth Green, date tall women who
can reach the Pepto Bismol from the
medicine cabinet on top of the refrigerator
without standing on their pedicured toes
Here she is, fresh from "Blue Day" at kindergarten
and "Invisible Day" at Skanky School, Miss Katie Perry
Hey, how did my plumber get in?
Poor Christina, looks like she tried to clean up
the oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico all by herself.
Oh I'm so confused, which is the "Rock"
and
which is the figure skater?
Proud new owner of a double wide
recently installed in Waldo's Trailer Town,
Miss Lindsay Lohan
Shaun White has discovered the joy
of the nude adult onesie
Now go plomp down on your
lazy bum and catch up on your TV.
Keeping you people cultured is wearing me out.
All images can be found here
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