And I am glad to give it, because I have a generous spirit. If you will indulge me in a bit of philosophy: I believe that when I cast my bread upon the waters, it will become soggy and sink down and a fish will eat it, and then the fish will grow strong and healthy and some little lad will catch it while fishing in an urban lake and will turn to his father with a proud smile and his father will say, “Throw it back Jonny, that’s a stinkin’ carp.” Whew, where was I?
What is the first thing every traveler requires? Bingo, you guessed it…A PLACE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! On a recent trip to Russia, I took notes on the back of my hand so I could help out unwary Americans like you with regard to Russian toilets.
With the smell of urea now making your eyes water, you know you are very very close to the actual toilet. Open the stall door and… Holy Cow, what is that porcelain hole in the ground? My friends, and I’m going to have to get somewhat technical here, that is a Russian squat toilet.
Now, I am not going to give you a play by play on using said facility because I am of a somewhat dainty sensibility. Suffice it to say it includes the use of the quadriceps, hamstrings and those watchyacallit muscles in your bum.
There, you’ve done it. Get out while you’re still able to hold your breath and take the hand sanitizer out of your purse. Men, you are out of luck. YOU SHOULD WORRY NOW, or at least start carrying a purse.
The government in Narva, Estonia honors Lenin by
allowing him to point the way to the "Cramos".
8 comments:
My, you have a little "potty" mouth!
love the squat toilets.
They do, however, seem more sanitary than our public bowls where many dirty behinds have sat and soiled. (too much?)
Isn't Europe the best! Love the story! :)
Leave it to you Anna to find something appealing about a squat toilet. Apparently you can take pee and make lemonade. Oh wait...I can do that too!
That settles it, I will not be going to Russia! I know every toilet in every corner of every place I have ever been and thats not bragging its complaining. Just curious, why does Russian urine smell stronger than their poop? I've just never been in an outhouse type building that didn't reek of poop. As far as travel goes, I recommend a sweet little place called Guadelupe, blink and you'll miss it. Try the bathrooms, it's almost like you are in America.
Japan baby!
So, I'll stay home and use my own toilet....wait, I have 12 kids! ~ I don't have my own toilet!
Mom. This was the g-rated version for sure.
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