Thursday, April 26, 2012

Plastic Surgery Danger Signs

When I was a kid growing up on a ranch,
when someone said they were
"getting some work done" 
it meant building fence, hoeing weeds,  
 bottling tomatoes or a host of other chores.

Now "getting some work done" 
means paying someone else a lot of money 
to work you over 
into what you hope will be a better version of yourself.

Pay attention while Larainy alerts you 
to some 
in the plastic surgery workplace

    • If you found your doctor because of a hand written advertisement with a tear off number on a grocery store bulletin board 

    • If the doctor's office windows are covered with newspaper and the reception area has leaking bean bag chairs repaired with duct tape

    • If liposuction room  has a dustbuster mounted on the wall

    • When you inquire about "lip plumping", your doctor pulls out a syringe and begins filling it with
    •  Your doctors solution to stubborn belly fat is to sell you a $900 pair of industrial Spanx and a elongating fun house mirror
    • His anesthesiologist wears a tool belt with a big mallet
    • A year after your procedure is done your friends keep asking you if you need to lie down or volunteering to bring you dinner while you recover from your car accident

    P.S.  I have enabled comment moderation 
    due to an exciting new following of neanderthals!


    Connie said...

    Thanks for the warnings. If (that is a really BIG if) I were to consider plastic surgery I think I wouldn't mind that marshmellow fluff stuff, not a bad idea.

    Boo to your less than desirable commentors, dirty buggers!!!

    karen said...

    Hahahaha! I like the dustbuster lipo treatment. Maybe the marshmallow fluff plumper is delicious as well as plumping? One can only hope...

    esbboston said...

    Sorry you have to endure NeoAndroidDolls
    (hahahaha I just now made up a word for ya'!!!)

    Marti said...

    Love your comparison to what "getting some work done" used to mean and what it means now - to most people anyway. I've been getting some work done, and when it's complete, I think I deserve to get some work done. lol

    Anna M said...

    If only marshmallow fluff would plump my lips and not my hips.

    neanderthals come with popularity: you have arrived!

    joanne fox said...

    It's mystifying how those neanderthals find their way to blogs which clearly have no connection with the seamier side of life!

    Holly said...

    I am not a neanderthal!!! I will follow you wherever you go, you can't hide from me. Really? Is the marshmallow fluff a really bad idea?

    Pondside said...

    ....and here I thought that Marshmallow Fluff might be just what I've been looking for to make that little improvement at the sides of my mouth before the wedding.
    Neanderthals? I hope they lope off to their cave soon!

    Sue said...

    Funny stuff.

    In all seriousness, though, I am puzzled and somewhat disturbed by all this interest in plastic surgery. It seems a bit over the top these days, and I wonder what that says about us as a society.


    Cherie said...

    Whew! That was close. I did spy that marshmallow stuff at my Dr.'s office. Really my behind doesn't need to be any bigger.

    Who are the neanderthals? Have you been getting rude comments?

    MTeacress said...

    People who get this sort of thing done - don't they know we can tell? It looks so not normal.