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Showing posts with label getting to know you. Show all posts
Showing posts with label getting to know you. Show all posts

Monday, February 7, 2011

Enigma Wrapped in a Mystery Tied With Raffia

Dear Larainy,

I have been reading your posts for quite some time and find you to be a confusing person.  I never know if you are serious.  Most of the time I think you are kidding around but sometimes I just can't tell.  I think part of my problem is that I don't understand women all that well.

Sincerely,
*Morgan Sidewinder 

*name has been changed because of excessive boredom quotient

Dear Mr. Sidewinder,

Well I do declare, I haven't received such a fine compliment since my 7th grade P.E. teacher wrote on my report card: Laraine is not coordinated, but goodness knows she tries!

Your confusion about me is a compliment Morgan, because women love being an enigma.  Being an enigma is almost as good as having no body hair except thick lustrous locks on the noggin and feathery sweeping lashes to lower mysteriously over brimming eyes when circumstances warrant (i.e. a traffic stop by a sympathetic male policeman when caught doing 56 in a 35 zone.)

 Larainy in her mirrored enigma glasses whipped by a mysterious desert wind

I sympathize Morgan, I really do, with your confusion about women. I am going to help you out by answering a list of probing questions to help you understand me better.

1.  Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?
     Fess Parker



     2.  What type of pets do you have?

      A beagle named Nixon 

      and
       two rats (expired)



      3.  What is your favorite color?

        The color of my eyes when they see a sunset 
        from the balcony of a luxury condo on the island of Maui. 

          


        4.  What is most memorable about your high school years?


          The best best friend in the history of time 






          5.  What drives you every day?


          James the chauffeur. (Unless he has the day off to go to the dog track)