Monday, February 7, 2011

Enigma Wrapped in a Mystery Tied With Raffia

Dear Larainy,

I have been reading your posts for quite some time and find you to be a confusing person.  I never know if you are serious.  Most of the time I think you are kidding around but sometimes I just can't tell.  I think part of my problem is that I don't understand women all that well.

*Morgan Sidewinder 

*name has been changed because of excessive boredom quotient

Dear Mr. Sidewinder,

Well I do declare, I haven't received such a fine compliment since my 7th grade P.E. teacher wrote on my report card: Laraine is not coordinated, but goodness knows she tries!

Your confusion about me is a compliment Morgan, because women love being an enigma.  Being an enigma is almost as good as having no body hair except thick lustrous locks on the noggin and feathery sweeping lashes to lower mysteriously over brimming eyes when circumstances warrant (i.e. a traffic stop by a sympathetic male policeman when caught doing 56 in a 35 zone.)

 Larainy in her mirrored enigma glasses whipped by a mysterious desert wind

I sympathize Morgan, I really do, with your confusion about women. I am going to help you out by answering a list of probing questions to help you understand me better.

1.  Who was your favorite celebrity as a child?
     Fess Parker

     2.  What type of pets do you have?

      A beagle named Nixon 

       two rats (expired)

      3.  What is your favorite color?

        The color of my eyes when they see a sunset 
        from the balcony of a luxury condo on the island of Maui. 


        4.  What is most memorable about your high school years?

          The best best friend in the history of time 

          5.  What drives you every day?

          James the chauffeur. (Unless he has the day off to go to the dog track)



          Pondside said...

          Funny - my chauffeur spends his days off at the harness races.

          just call me jo said...

          I didn't find you the slightest bit enigmatic. I just always take you literally. What the heck? Now I have to be on the look out for mystery in your posts. Sigh! There's always something.

          SherilinR said...

          you own expired rats? aren't they smelly?

          Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

          I featured you today, my friend. Thanks for always making me smile!

          Lisa Ricard Claro said...

          Why is it that the older I get the cuter Fess Parker looks? Even in that danged hat. :)

          Michelle Teacress said...

          100% original, that's what you are. Where do you come up with these ideas?
          Have a great week. :)

          Sue said...

          Funny thing. That's MY favorite color, too.


          PS. Michelle is right. Are your parents, brothers, and sisters creative geniuses, too? Or are you the black sheep in the family?

          Hoosier at Heart said...

          You just keep getting mysteriouser and mysteriouser. Spooky really.

          Melynda said...

          Dang girl, I forgot how cute Fess Parker was, oh wait he don't look like that now. Well have a nice day anyway.

          ChristineMarie said...

          I totally had a crush on Fess Parker when I was growing up too. Granted, he has 40 or something years on me but there is nothing wrong with a man three times your age, right? Right?

          Lazarus said...

          I love your pithy and funny posts, with great pictures. I sense a Saturday Night Live writer fighting to get out of your spokesmodel body! Keep up the great writing.

          Sharon McPherson said...

          Hey funny!!! Well, I get ya girl .. Staying an enigma to men is exactly how I like it (but that just be my oppinion). It's more fun that way. :)