Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine SOS

I'll make this quick, since you are probably on your way to Walgreens to peruse the picked over section of Valentine Cards.  I don't want you to end up with a card for the love of your life that looks like this

To a Wonderful Son husband

so go buy a blank card and I will help by providing you the borrowed heartfelt sentiment.



FOR YOUR DOG

To my faithful friend
I'll love you til' the end
In spite of your breath
Which causes brain death
 


FOR YOUR CHILD

I gave you birth
Brought your soul to earth
Changed your Pamper
Washed your hamper
So here's a broom
Go clean your room
And you just might find
The chocolate I left behind



FOR A YOUNG LOVE (Female)

 Your tattoo is like
a haiku on your ankle
One with spiky hair
when you forget to shave or
accidentally miss a spot



FOR A YOUNG LOVE (Male)


Only you
Can make me forget
Justin Beiber
(Except the hair, I really wish you had his hair)



FOR A NEW LOVE

Baby I need an inhaler 
You've run me over with a tractor-trailer
If my fever gets any higher
I can throw away my blow dryer 




FOR A MEDIUM AGE LOVE

Remember that time
when you said my eyes were
bluer than
your favorite fishing lake?

Neither do I
But if you'll say it
I'll scratch your back



FOR AN OLD LOVE

What do you want to do tonight?
Really?  Me too
 
 

9 comments:

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Happy Valentine's Day, Laraine!

My sweetie just got a shout out on Facebook, AND I'm going to spend the day at the hospital with his mom and brother, and I think those are darn good gifts!

Sue said...

Perfect! Now, I'm in business!!

;)

Connie said...

You need to call up Hallmark and see if they have any openings for greeting card writers.

The last one is Perfect for my Valentine!

Emily Widdison said...

my favorite was the medium age love one! great!

Pondside said...

Oh no! I think that we might fit into the Old Love category!

Melynda said...

Funny stuff! It just proves you got heart, and know how to use it! Hope you have a great day.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Such heartfelt sentiments. Wait a moment, please, while I wipe away a tear! LOL

karen said...

Middle love...or...maybe old love. Both are perfect. Happy Valentine's Day Laraine!

I'm Cindy said...

Love the one for my dog!!! Hope you had a great Valentine's Day!!