Monday, February 28, 2011

For Your Consideration

Since I am as well qualified as the next unqualified Oscar observer, here are the finely honed fruits of my Academy Award surveillance.

  • There was a serious dearth of  hideous Oscar gowns this year.  C'mon Hollywood, why do you think we watch this boring show.

  • While you're on the red carpet I want to see what you are wearing, but I don't really want to hear what you're saying

  • Tim Burton, I don't know how much you paid for this hairstyle, but my pillowcase will do it for free

  • Tim's Gunn is definitely not loaded

  • 2 minutes of drama, 158 minutes to go to the bathroom, facebook, trim your toenails and eat snacks.  If you want tension, watch an Elementary School spelling bee

  • The Douglas' should have skipped the eyelifts and opted for an earlobe reduction  

  • Ladies, if you're going to wear satin, go for the industrial antiperspirant

  • Why do people purse their lips when all they are kissing is the air?  Why not just do the cheek bump and save the mouth wrinkles.


Melynda said...

You know I think my pillowcase and your pillowcase are cousins! If they are not, they went to the same beauty college.

Holly said...

That last photo???? Kirk was the one you were focusing on? Really?

Pondside said...

Helena Bonham-Carter channeling the Wicked Witch of the West....

Connie said...

Funny!!! Funny!!!

Dear Mr. Douglas and Wife.
I am sorry to hear that your eyesight has gone because I am sure if you could see how you both look...well lets just say I am embarresed for both of you.

Sue said...

Excellent point on the air kisses...


Trenton said...

I watched the Oscars for the first time in muy many years, and the thing that stuck with me the most was Kirk Douglas' missing eyelids and don't-they-make-a-bra-for-that? earlobes. You are truly the voice of the people. people, at least. :)