Monday, April 4, 2011

Arizona: Duped by Dope

Last year the citizens of Arizona, addled with anticipatory fumes, voted in favor of "medical marijuana". 

We were all lead to believe that dispensaries would be staffed by gruff elderly doctors with degrees from Harvard who would ask probing questions and weed out the dope-atrons from pitiful pain riddled souls with a defensible need for weed. 

 Yeah right.

image found here

Instead, guys like this are registering to open up little shops all across the state.   

"The Blue Iguana" will conveniently share retail space with a "Jenny Craig" diet center so you can deal with the weight gain from pot induced munchies.

 "Mary Janes" will be in a stripmall next to Payless Shoes.  

One sells these
And one sells these

You will find "Dr. Wowie's Maui" in the mall next to "Tommy Bahama"

Need to rent a port-a-john?  "Pat's Pots" is located right next door to the convenient drive through window of a medical cannabis dispensary called "Port-a-Pot".
Learn to macrame pot holders at "Howie's Hemp House" which is in the basement of "Bud's Medicinal Buds".
Buy sod for your new lawn at the "Grass and Mower Superstore" and then something to ease the pain of your arthritic knees after all that yard work next door at "Thelma's Therapeutic Grass Hut".

Arizona is dumber already and we haven't even inhaled yet.


jen said...

I must be really stupid, because I didn't realize until your last post (which I just read) how closely related you are to greatness. Do I have to speak your name in hushed tones now?

Sue said...

This one really both amuses and resonates with me...

We already have medical marijuana in California, and your humor is (incredibly) not that far off the mark.


just call me jo said...

I never dreamed when it was on the ballot last year that it would pass. I thought we were smarter than that...nope! Dumber than rocks. Yes, the smoke shop dudes will be the keepers of the roaches and I don't just mean cockroaches. Just don't breathe too deeply when walking by.

ChristineMarie said...

Hahaha. Oh Arizona. Hey but, on the bright side, maybe our state will get some good taxes out of the "medicinal" pot use?

Holly said...

Dude! Any idea how I can get a license to sell? I'm always looking for a little pocket money. And Jo was just saying she needed a part time job. You in?

Pondside said...

Well, we beat you to it up here. So far it's been mostly gruff old doctors and crusty old ill people signing up - we'll see what the long-term result is though.

Sam and Melissa said...

Maybe if you are lucky, you can get them in your vending machines like they have in California too. Talk about convenience!

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

LOL Funny post...and I bet you aren't too far off the mark.

ME said...

Oh My God! It would be funny if not for being soooo true and soooo
frightening! Guess AZ heard of all the medical miracles in Denver, CO.. It seems all those cowboys and cowgirls on loco weed are on to something.....Helps 'em stay in the saddle I guess.

kate said...

those mary-janes are cute. guess which ones i'm talking about.......................