just so you could test the product and tell your readers about it.
Well I am fed up trying to sell my soul to "the man" for corporate sponsorship. I have taken control of my destiny. I am grabbing the brass ring, I am doing it my way, I am...
short time later
I am feeling much better after a short nap.
You are probably familiar with this fine retail establishment. You may be planning a shopping trip to purchase a bag of cotton candy or praying hands made of chocolate for your child's Easter basket. (WARNING: stay away from the canned ham.)
I am starting a new feature which I am going to call:
Low Hanging Fruit From Dollar Tree
From time to time I am going to choose an intriguing product, purchase it with my own dollar (to avoid coddling corporate creatures) and review it for you, my dear reader, so you don't waste your hard-earned cash on an inferior product.
Our debut product is an intriguing toy called the "Grow Snake".
The Grow Snake promises an increase in size by soaking in water. The longer you soak it, the more terrifying it becomes.
I am pleased to report that our little snake began to grow that very first night. At breakfast time he put us off our scrambled eggs
and by dinner time he was drinking out Nixon's water bin.
Nixon performs a canine terror assessment
Nixon is obviously frightened out of his razor sharp doggie mind.
Nixon sending doggy mind-signal warnings of extreme danger
Pound for pound I found the grow snake to be a slimy success.
GROW SNAKE RATING = 95 CENTS