Monday, January 16, 2012

Roll Out the Red Carpet

There is a special 5 hour festival of fashion and congratulations held every year to honor Martin Luther King and give starlets a chance to wear sparkly gowns honoring their golden globes. 
This year's event was hosted by a funny man with crooked English teeth, and while I can't comment on his funniness because Downton Abby trumps the GGA's, I can tell you that these awards are given by something called "The Foreign Press Assocation."  A little investigational digging has lead me to discover what the FPA is all about.

The sole member of the "Foreign Press Association" is a 9-year-old kid named Ghalib who writes press releases on a MAC out of his parents basement.  He tivos the last half of the big night because he has to be in bed by 9:00.

This year, Ghalib requested each actor to wear an outfit as a tribute to something/someone

 Emma Stone wore shoulder pads in solidarity with her little brother Everett 
who is playing Pop Warner football this year.

 Reese Witherspoon left her dress unhemmed, in honor of "those unsung heroes who alter clothes".  The scarlet starlet wiped out three times tripping over her excess dress material and is resting today with an icepack.
 Busy Phillips choked up as she dedicated her hair to her sister Wanda, who recently passed away but left her a "bump it"

The hirsute gentleman to the rear of Clive Owen dedicated his ensemble to "the sixties the sixties."

 Tilda Swinton blew a kiss to her twin brother, David Bowie

 Pied Piper Perabo snuck in several homeless children under her voluminous gown 
as a general protest against the Republican party

 Juliana Margulies wore a sleek protest gown comprised of thousands of miniscule halibut scales painstakingly glued to a lightweight silk jersey by Alaskan fisherman who are out of work because of irresponsible oil spills caused by Mitt Romney

Sarah Michelle Gellar commissioned her daughter's Montesorri preschool group to tie dye the fabric for this voluminous gown constructed by the Jr. High sewing class as a reminder to "Sew as You Grow"

 Angelina wore a valentine tribute for Brad but his embarrassing response was to bring the cane he uses to poke his wife under the table when she is over her 123 calorie per day allowance.


Nobody does tributes like Hollywood

photos found here


just call me jo said...

I watched part of it. I like your recap much better. Tell me about this RS thingy you're doing on the 31st. What exactly will you be doing? Dancing? I need to know more if I drive an hour with Holly to see you. (How did I find out, you asked? I'll never tell.) Just spill!

Holly said...

First of all, I never watch these things because I know you will always cover it for me in your posts. What is Jo talking about? I should probably be there no matter what it is. It's bound to be more exciting than sitting here watching Big Bass Fishing with Brian. Please invite me.

Holly said...

Also, I thought Jo was my stalker, not yours.

Sue said...

I missed the whole thing.

Thankfully, through you, I now feel as if I were there.


Marti said...

I didn't watch it, so I appreciate the highlights. I have nightmares where I am dressed like Pied Piper Perabo, and it's not until I'm in the middle of a huge group of people that I realize my dress is on backwards and everyone is staring at my exposure.

Grammy Goodwill said...

Oh, this is such a funny post. Thanks for keeping me informed.

Connie said...

You are spot on as usual.

Pondside said...

I saw about 2 minutes of it and it annoyed me so much that I flipped through as quickly as I could.
I think I'm getting old and crotchety.

MTeacress said...

When I saw Piper's dresss, I could hardly contain my excitement and anticipation, wondering what you would say about it. :)

MTeacress said...

Opps...dress, not dresss. Kant spel toodae.