Friday, July 6, 2012

Cruel and Unusual Shopping

 Even if you are experiencing a life-threatening urge for 
glue sticks, velcro or decorative spanish moss, 
do not attempt to take your children shopping with you at this store!!!

Oh sure, you may make it through the fabric cutting line, or negotiate the yarn aisle by cramming your little darling full of goldfish crackers and fruit snacks, 
but eventually you will be forced to walk...

"The Chocolate Mile"
on your way to the checkout.

I have seen many a young mother try to make it 
past this treacherous stretch without beating their begging child. 

There is a reason that Child Protective Services has a kiosk in the lobby.

You decide what is more important; 
buying a pack of googly eyes to make that thing you saw on pinterest
watching your little darling grow up in foster care because you lost your cool in the middle of the chocolate mile and pummeled junior with a pool noodle that was on clearance for $3.99

The choice is yours.


just call me jo said...

You are just priceless! How do you think of these things? Love and good weekend t'ya!

Andrea said...

What ... are you always this funny? I have an idea ... take your dog, they can't have chocolate. Wait no, didn't you say dogs are impulse shoppers ... Sorry, not a good idea.

Love it ... I will come here whenever I need a lift, which is often.

Andrea @ From the Sol

karen said...

There's just no reason at all to take children with you on creative forays. Any creative thought you ever had will fly right out the window.

Sam and Melissa said...

...but the chocolate mile was the only way my mom could talk us into going into JoAnn's with her. Moms just gotta give in :)

Pondside said...

Just go to the chocolate aisle right off the bat - it's easier, and sometimes one just has to take the easy way out!

Rohrerbot said...

I absolutely despise those aisles with my nephews and nieces. Very tricky to avoid:) Impossible really:) Thanks for stopping by Las Aventuras. It's nice when a new person stops by to comment. Look forward to following your blog. Have a great weekend!

Anonymous said...

Oh I don't know... this could be a great bribery tool for my kids if I stupidly decided to take them to one of these stores and wanted to shop without them running around like lunatics. Oh who am I kidding?! Like that would work. :/

Anne said...

Too true, I hate these aisles! Especially at old navy, where I her pressured into paying for a tube of applesauce at roughly $15/lb. Smart stores, haha!

Nancy Claeys said...

Lol! I remember those days! My boys are now 31 and 28 -- but I bet if I took them to this store, they would be begging me for Starbursts! xoxo

Sue said...

You always cut to the chase, Laraine.

It's all a matter of priorities, isn't it?


The Eddington's said...

Haha you have seen me try to battle Brylinn in this store... We have never gone again since the time I went with you. JoAnn the candy isle is not bringing any business to your store... take it down.

Connie said...

Are you kidding me? I have a terrible time getting down the chocolate mile myself. I am sure there are mandatory classes in college for marketing majors that describe in depth the subtle and not so subtle ways to sell fattening candy bars to innocent crafters everywhere. It's just not fair!!!!!! Someone should give Michelle Obummer a call so she can look into this unfair and deceptive practice.

MTeacress said...

We just buy the chocolate. Problem solved.

Mom of 12 said...

But that's my favorite aisle in the store!

Ann in the UP said...

I'm right there with Connie, trying to get myself past the chocolate mile. It must be common marketing practice, because I seem to encounter a great many chocolate miles!!

Rachael said...

This is my all time favorite post to date- well the Costco bathroom daycare was a close runner-up. Just experienced this nightmare yesterday. I chose...poorly.