I, Larainy, solemnly resolve
that I will not comment on the troubled life and times of
Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr.
This lofty goal has crumbled so many times (like here and here and here and here ) but still I persevere, valiantly vowing year after to year to leave Old Double A alone.
But so help me people, I heard his voice on the radio yesterday and suddenly I found myself ripping apart a decorative pillow cushion with my freshly brushed teeth. Big Al's voice has always reminded me of that kid, universal in every elementary school class that points out your humiliating zits with the voice of a pompous old fart, has a twinkie in his lunch every day, wins the spelling bee because he knows how to spell "Renassaince" and smells like gorgonzola.
And the hits just kept on coming. Old Double A has been hitting every talk show across the fruited plain promoting his new book
Of course Big Al isn't worried about the future now that he has sold his 100% certified green television conglomerate, "Current Television" to 100% oil based Aljazerra.
Hey Al,
is it getting warm in here or is that
a permanent oily sheen on your prodigious forehead?