Friday, February 1, 2013

Jeepers Al!

Aaaaargh!  I barely made it through January and already I am breaking the only New Year's resolution I ever make:

I, Larainy, solemnly resolve 
that I will not comment on the troubled life and times of
 Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr.

This lofty goal has crumbled so many times (like  here and here and here and here ) but still I persevere, valiantly vowing year after to year to leave Old Double A alone.

But so help me people, I heard his voice on the radio yesterday and suddenly I found myself ripping apart a decorative pillow cushion with my freshly brushed teeth. Big Al's voice has always reminded me of that kid, universal in every elementary school class that points out your humiliating zits with the voice of a pompous old fart, has a twinkie in his lunch every day, wins the spelling bee because he knows how to spell "Renassaince" and smells like gorgonzola.

And the hits just kept on coming.  Old Double A has been hitting every talk show across the fruited plain promoting his new book
Of course Big Al isn't worried about the future now that he has sold his 100% certified green television conglomerate, "Current Television" to 100% oil based Aljazerra. 

Hey Al, 
is it getting warm in here or is that 
a permanent oily sheen on your prodigious forehead?


Connie said...

You are much nicer in your commentary about AAG...I wouldn't be so nice. Just scratch a chalkboard with you finger nails and that would be preferred over his strange and stupid voice.

Auntie sezzzzzz... said...

-clapping hands- -laughing my panties off- -dancing a jig-

Oh I am so happy I found you, Dear One! Soul-mates we are!!!! -giggggles-

And to think, I didn't even know that OL AL had a new book, advising us about "The Future." Imagine that?!? What rock do I live under, hu?

Oh yeah! That was a good thing! That I didn't know he had put pen to paper (chuckle) again. 'Twas a good thing. But your adorable tweak was a nice way of breaking it to me. HE who KNOWS all, is SHARING Wisdom, again.

Hardy, harrrrrrr, harrrrrrrrr...

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Nice job, Larainy. It had to be said, and no once could say it better than you! Funny AND dead on.

Anna M said...

"Albert Arnold"? That is rough. I love gorgonzola, though.

I would still love to hear his justification for selling to Aljazeera. A baffling paradox considering his pioneering the awareness of global warming and invention of the internet. I assume his book is equally confusing.


karen said...

Well done, Laraine. I can't stand that guy, and I really hope someone wipes that smug look off his hypocritical face. He's such an ass.

Dixie Mom said...

The dude needs to find a new home...away from the United States of America.

just call me jo said...

And oily Al has 100 million dollars and then some more than I. How is that fair, Cosmic Universe? I can't look or listen to the puffed up poopsuck. He's just a bad actor. But you, my friend, are priceless. Love!

Pondside said...

Really? How can he look at himself in the mirror. What a hypocrite.

RoeH said...

Amen. Never been a fan. I agree. It needed to be said. :)

Sue said...

I have a similar reaction. Ugh.


Robyn said...

so, I was always taught if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all so to get around that I WILL say... I agree with you!!.. LOL!

Melynda and Terry, we are the Browns! said...

yeah, I really hate it when it is too slippery to look at someon, nothing worse than that old money oil sheen......