Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Rootin' Tootin' Resolutin'

Yes friends, like so many of you; I have just emerged from a cleansing fast (no vegetables, whole grains, fruits or fibers) and a 15 hour meditation (movie marathon in front of HD widescreen) and am now in the proper frame of mind to make my New Year's Resolutions.

In spite of the cleansing fast and meditation, I have been having a hard time coming up with anything that I can improve upon, so I looked to others for motivation.  Perhaps they will help you!

I will treat my sister like the angel she truly is.


I will force my sister to become the angel she truly isn't.

I will put the sheets in the washer, where they belong

I will allow no one to rain on my trophy parade

I will not try to solve the issues between Grandma and Aunt Sylvia


I will get up before 3 pm and cheerfully 
participate in family pictures


I will wear a shirt next time I volunteer 
as a crossing guard at the elementary school


I will never again bring dishonor to Smoky the Bear

Next time I will go all the way 
and wear the matching earrings

Next time, we will buy the eight foot couch


This year, 
I will go to the gym with my girlfriend


I will teach Arturo how to stand on his own two feet


I will read Twilight again until I get it right

I will limit my target practice to just one of the neighbors cats

I will continue little brother's education.

I will be a little less country
and a little more rock n' roll

We will give up on dating chicken farmers

I will give all my legal business to
kitty-totin' lawyers


I will not bring my baby to visit the Dollar Store Easter Bunny.


Anne said...

Oh man! Some of those... you have to wonder!

Brooke said...

I laughed so hard through your funny!!

Meagan said...

where do you find this stuff?

Rachael said...

You are too funny. Hunter and I enjoy the antics.

Merrilee said...

I keep wondering when you will run out of family photos.

Laraine Eddington said...

Never. Our extended family is HUGE and we are all good looking!

emmakaren said...

hahahaha. This made my day/week/life!

Rachael Jill said...

20 bucks says that prom dress chicken photo was in Texas.

I will read this blog every day.

Dem, Mem and Them said...

Hey whatever happened to giving up diet coke as a resolution? Remember the "intervention"? You can always count on me to remind you. I'm there for you. Get up out of that napping position and have a glass of water. NOW! :)

KayleighS said...

Hope you don't mind, but I shared this on my blog. And facebook as well. Thanks for the laughs. :)

KayleighS said...'s my blog :)