Friday, December 11, 2009

Somebody's Weight Watching You

Yes, I have been to Weight Watchers.  I have gone to meetings wearing clothes made of gauze and taken off my shoes to meet my goals.  Brothers and sisters, I have counted points.  Hallelujah.  

In honor of those who have ridden on the W.W. Wagon, or the Jenny Craig Bus, or the Cow Urine Express, I have composed the following motivational song to get you through the holidays.  I have also researched and found some delicious old Weight Watchers recipes that are sure to delight.










 







You and your guests are surely going to be snapping up your mackerel! 




         No one can pass 
         up a fishball!




Have Yourself a Low-Fat Little Christmas
(to be sung to the tune of a song with a similar name)
By Laraine F. Eddington


Have yourself a low-fat little Christmas
Let your treats be light
More whipped cream
Will only make your pants too tight


Have yourself a skimpy kind of Christmas
Starve yourself this year
Gaining weight does not
Equate to Christmas cheer


Have yourself a low-fat little Christmas
Did you know that over night
Fudge turns into
Something known as cell-u-lite?


CHORUS:
When you are at the grocery store
In the pastry aisle… again
Roll on by
Those evil jelly rolls
Or you never will be thin.


Through the years
We’ll all count points together
And if we pay our dues
We’ll look e-ma-ci-ated
E-ter-nal-ly!
So have yourself
A Christmas totally fat-free.



 



Nothing says love like
frozen brown liquid







 

Salmon jello...sculpted with your own salmonella-free hands
 

Can be made with beets,  leftover cabbage or strips of raw liver




Ahhhhh, nothing quenches like a long cool glass of beef bouillon.



If you can wind a hotdog around a pineapple
you are ready for Iron Chef


 

Only real hunger would inspire you to eat this bowl of scariness.

 
 

Straight out of a slasher movie




This children, is your brain on drugs...with dipping sauce!


The secret to Weight Watchers Success...The recipes!








8 comments:

Anne said...

I'm dying. I need to get some of these recipes for my blog!

incognito said...

I just lost 15lbs looking at those.

ps I never knew what a convenience fish was until now.

Dem, Mem and Them said...

EWWWWW..... that about sums it up!! Loved your Christmas card, by the way. :)

{Steve and Amanda} said...

I will never look at food the same way again. I absolutely loved your song.

Samantha said...

That song is hilarious. I am doing Weight Watchers right now and sometimes I feel like I am eating fish balls.

Rachael Jill said...

Fish Balls. I have lost my appetite for the next 48 hours, or until I see a chocolate truffle...

Laraine Eddington said...

Yeah, the fish balls are definitely helping in the quest for holiday appetite supression. If I actually made some and smelled them, it might cure me for life.

Rebecca said...

I am....MORTIFIED....thankyou Lord for UNPROCESSED and UNPLAYED with food that we can still eat healthy with!-lol!