Monday, March 8, 2010

Red Carpet Retort

I am still groggy from a sleepless night attending post Academy Award Parties.  Although I was not invited to Elton's John pretentious soiree, I did have a cornucopia of choices, including:
  • The Waste Management Wingding at In-N-Out
  • Fight Night + Celery Sticks  hosted by Naomi Campbell
  • Bring Your Own Sack Lunch to the Park hosted by the long suffering "House Cleaning to the Stars" Union.
But let's get down to the real reason Hollywood stars exist, to show us poor folk what we should be wearin' to Kmart.  There was a lot to learn this year.

J Lo came prepared with a semi-attached white snuggy 
in case the theater was too chilly

Someone forgot to tell this guy that he should be 
trying for "bedhead" not "sleeping-bag head"

Everyone tried to crowd in for a picture with
the pregnant woman because, hey, you always
look skinny next to someone who is due tomorrow.

Charlize commits her first fashion faux pas 
when she vastly overestimates her cup size.

Nothing accessorizes like a vintage George Clooney.

Michelle Obama called Monique and
challenged her to an arm wrestle in the Rose Garden

Now we know who used all 
the toilet paper in the ladies room

Ed Asner always brings his favorite date...
his eyebrows

It was nice to meet Edward Cullen's cousin Howard

Now that Avatar has made a few bucks,
maybe James Cameron can afford to feed his wife

Uh... the Gothic Gala is two blocks south

Aunt Betty and Uncle Eugene successfully
crashed another Academy Awards.  
You go guys!

This is what is known as an "awkward Ellen" moment

No, you're not paranoid.
Someone is following you.

Someone must have lost a bet

What you get when you put 
a tablecloth, 3 scarves, and wrestling shoes in a blender

All photos found here


Dem, Mem and Them said...

Oh Laraine, seriously! My neighbors next door are sure to hear my laughter!

Sue said...

The only thing better than these photos is your take on them!


PS. Laughing out loud over here...

Kim Call said...

When are you going to be syndicated? These are great!

Allison said...

For the record, James Cameron's wife, Suzy Amis is 42 years old - the same age as Demi Moore and only two years older than Sandra Bullock. Food is life, people.

Sam and Melissa said...

Ok, this was the best one yet. Can't wait to share it with Sam.

ChristineMarie said...

Your analysis on Charlize Theron was the best. My thoughts exactly. Except not half as witty :)

Allyson & Jere said...

Ok, that was some funny stuff! I'm glad you found me so I could find you. Thanks for the laugh.