Thursday, July 15, 2010

Preguntas, Por Favor

The email is piling up and my computer is 'threatening to blow'.  Don't worry if you don't understand what 'threatening to blow' means, it is a technical phrase only understood by highly trained experts such as myself.  

Dear Larainy Days,

Will man ever walk on the moon again?

Izzie
Louisville Kentucky





Well Izzie, apparently you folks down yonder in Kentucky have got way too much time on yer hands ever since Dan'l Boone killed all the bears and Johnny Appleseed planted all those thar apple trees.  You need to head on out to the barn and take care of that spindly legged new colt that you are vainly hopin' will become a Kentucky Derby longshot winner so you can wear a dorky hat and drink mint juleps.  I reckon you need to let the rest of us worry about what is happening in outer space.

Editorial note:  I like to reply to my readers in a language or dialect that they will understand 

 

Dear Larainy Days,
 
What is is store for Miley Cyrus?  She was so cute and innocent, but now every time I see her she is wearing hot pants.

Ethel
Erie, Pennsylvania




Oh Ethel, I hate to be the one to break this to you because obviously that is the job of "People" Magazine, but little Miley has been adopted by Lindsay Lohan and they are going into business together and developing a model for smoothies made of nonfat yogurt, wheatgrass and vodka.  If you want information on a franchise you will have to agree that all your employees will wear hotpants.



Dear Larainy Days,

 What do you think about Apple's newest version of the iphone?

Waldo
Sulphurdale, Utah

Dear Waldo, 

Anything that can be repaired with duct tape can't be all bad. 
 

4 comments:

Sue said...

Hilarious. Especially the dialect and duct tape.

=)

Matthew Rush said...

This is good. Especially that iPad.

Pondside said...

I didn't know that you are multi-lingual!

MT said...

Blog posts usually make me smile, but this one surpassed that. FUH-KNEE! Now if you'll scuze me, I've got to go feed my hens.
Have a great weekend. :)