I had the dress
I had the shoes
I had the hat
I had the platform
Preserve Endanger Species Today
(P.E.S.T.)
I had the talent
Cheese ball juggling
And I had the acceptance speech
...and I'd like to thank my mother, who gave me my first Barbie, and my brothers who taught my Barbie survival skills by making her a parachute and throwing her off the barn into the cow manure, where she taught me a valuable lesson about enduring adversity...
The only thing I lacked was adequate sponsorship. Oh sure I had the usual small town lineup; Western Auto Hardware ($50.00), Fernie's Dairy Freeze ($30.00 and free french fries), Les Ballard's Garage (1 free oil change), Eastside Pigs (50.00 and a side of bacon), The Beefmaster Cattle Ranch (an orphan calf to raise and sell), and Aunt Augusta ($10.00 and a pack of raisins). But it just wasn't enough.
I'm just going to have to live with the regrets.
8 comments:
Oh Laraine, You've done it again. And by "it" I mean caused me to seriously consider investing in some mid-sized depens... because every time i read your blog i laugh so hard that.... well, you get the picture. I have been sharing your blog with my mom and I've come to find out something EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: we are cousins! Yes, I am a Flake... At least my grandma was. I feel extremely blessed to be related to someone as talented as you!
Aaron Hatch
I had the shoes too - the exact shoes - but alas, none of the other necessities, including the hair and the height. There was never a real call for a short girls with a large nose.
The shoes are to die for - Be Happy! Ha ha
I know you would have won!!!
If you had taken that road maybe you wouldn't have the time to entertain us with your blog. Be happy!
I love the Barbie& parachute. That was a very funny blog.
Mr Monkey
Everyone need humor in their life. Some days, you are all I get. Thanks!
Didn't Aunt Augusta at least give you a piece of ancient hard candy too?
You could have juggled to some of Aunt Gusta's old records too. That would have definitely put you over the top!
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