Monday, October 18, 2010

Campaign Brain Drain



  I am crying bitter tears that midterm elections are only two weeks away.  There is nothing I like more than campaign commercial accusations about the other guy.




 It is a little known fact that they are all produced by a nonthink tank of ten year olds on sabbatical from fifth grade who sit around in beanbag chairs drinking chocolate milk, eating Doritos and coming up with zingers like these.





Did you know that...
  • fill in the blank has turned his back on the Mother that paid for his law school by scrubbing floors and selling her own blood?



Did you know that...
  • The Society of Paranormal Parents has rated fill in the blank as the number one enemy to extrasensory education in America?


 Did you know that...
  • fill in the blank once owned a muskrat farm run by an undocumented Wiccan woman and that fill in the blank continues to make  obscene profits from muskrat pelts, all of which are processed overseas?
  


Did you know that...
  • fill in the blank was a bedwetter until ninth grade and yet has voted NINE TIMES against funding for enuresis research and EPTSD (enuretic post traumatic stress disorder)?


 
Did you know that...
  •  fill in the blank has a documented addiction to Bingo and the Bingo-wings to prove it?










Oh well, after November we'll always have C-Span










8 comments:

Sue said...

Thanks, Laraine. It's good to laugh a little at this stuff, because the election vitriol is getting crazy here in California.

I was especially amused by the bed-wetter who voted numerous times against enuresis research and enuretic post traumatic stress disorder. Laughed out loud at that one!

Loved then 10-year-old non-think tank, too. Really clever.

=)

Sarah said...

Bingo wings, teehee!

hiphousegirl said...

Bingo wings- fantastic! My brother calls rolls of back fat "potatoes". So mean.

just call me jo said...

Yes, the muck is getting deeper. But your post breaks up the vitrole.

Pondside said...

We get to see the campaign ads from WA. I'll be glad when it's over too!

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Right on Laraine!

I love the muskrat one the very best!

What the world needs now is less mean, mean, mean and more love sweet love. I just don't think we will be seeing a lot of that on t.v. for the next couple of weeks. Or even after that.

Have a fun day today!

Kathy

karen said...

They're getting meaner and meaner. I'm soooo tired of it all. The worst are all the campaign messsages and endorsements on the answering machine at the end of the day.
The Bingo Wings were scary - mostly because my wings are starting to look like that.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Our local paper runs a truth-o-meter and compares what the politician claims to reality. All I'm gonna say is there are a lot of big, fat liars running for office! Thanks for the funny post.