Wednesday, September 28, 2011

It is Better to Light a Candle Than Curse a CFL

I was so excited when I was first introduced to this darling new CFL lightbulb.  
It looked like a swirly ice cream cone and if there is anything I love 
it is buying something at Home Depot that looks like ice cream.

As an added bonus, this new light bulb promised to 
Save the planet!!!
Getting rid of all my old evil old-fashioned energy sucking caveman lightbulbs 
made me feel virtuous and reduced my carbon footprint 
to a petite size 6 1/2 narrow.

And then I turned it on.

Other than the sound of the light switch, 
there were few cues that anything had happened.  
A faint glow emanated from the fixture, 
equal to a sputtering candle on a foggy night.  
After my hair grew half an inch, 
my hallway was finally illuminated 
in a romantic glow somewhat akin 
to a flashlight with dying batteries.

I found out what C.F.L. stands for...

Can’t find the light!!!


I can only imagine what will happen when a bad guy breaks into my house and I hear his stealthy steps in the hallway.

Me:  Shaking sleeping husband.  Hey, wake up, I hear a bad guys stealthy steps in the hallway

Husband:  Snore

Me:  Alright, alright.  I guess it's my turn.  You got up the last five times I heard stealthy steps.

Me again:  Easing out of bed, every fiber alert and poised to maintain the element of surprise whilst silently creeping toward the light switch in the hall.  

Flipping it on.  Aha!   
Me:  Uh, excuse me, bad guy, if you're there will you wait just a minute because it takes a while for this light to come on and I can't hurl my ninja throwing star at you in the dark.  

But...
thanks to good old American ingenuity,
we have solved the problem of the energy efficient bulb
that takes 15 minutes to warm up.

We just leave it on 24 hours a day.





16 comments:

Holly said...

I used them, yup, I did. Changed out all my energy sucking ones for them. I could have fed a family of 6 at PF Changs for the amount I spent on them. Changed back and I'm not feeling bad about it.

Pondside said...

Incandescent lights will soon be banned from sale up here - we are stocking up. We put the CFLs everywhere when they came in but I got sick of stumbling around, going to work with mismatched shoes and wonky hair from getting ready in the half-light.

Misha said...

Lol that's so annoying. I'm hoping for the sake of the fools that created this bulb that 24 hour usage still adds up to less than the original bulbs for a few hours. Otherwise I'll just be chalking up to a book-smart idiot that wasn't thinking.

Pearl said...

Unfortunately, those weird little bulbs don't look right in my lamps.

I shall continue with the old ones until forcibly required.

Pearl

just call me jo said...

I need to stock up on the energy sucking bright lights before it's too late. I hate those others. You are soooo right!! I love you take on things.

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Oh, Larainy, this topic makes me MAD! These florescent light-bulbs are made in China, and are poisonous when they break. Our old, good ones, are becoming illegal and these new ones are so awful.

I loved your post though, and would like to learn to use a ninja throwing star; do you give lessons?

Have a great day!

Kathy M.

Connie said...

You are so right about those 'dim wit" (no pun intended, ok, yes there was a pun intended) stupid light bulbs. I think we need to march on Washington and take our country back one light bulb at a time!!! We shouldn't stand for this!!!! Amen Sister!!!!!!!!

Connie said...

Oh ya, thanks for bringing this subject to light (another pun intended)!

Sue said...

I laughed out loud at the last line.

And you are right. Those bulbs are maddening!

"/

Michelle Teacress said...

I'm going to be so sad when they stop selling the caveman lights. They are my fave.

Grammy Goodwill said...

I'm glad I'm not alone in the dark. I hate those light bulbs! I thrive on bright light at all times, so I'm going to be in BIG trouble when the old ones are gone.

Bossy said...

One of my friends from high school lost everything she had in her storage room because the neighbor switch to CFLs in the unit. Turns out they randomly explode and catch fire. Just like when you touch a halogen blub with your fingers, the natural oils on our skin...

After more CFL house fires I am sure the insurance companies will be petitioning to get them banned.
Kira

karen said...

I had no idea... this is not good news.

Cherie said...

I am with you - I hate these new light bulbs. I have ceiling can lights in my kitchen and my husband changed all the lightbulbs to these. I went into the kitchen turned on the light and it was dark - I was annoyed - I told him to get rid of them!!

Cherie said...

I am with you - I hate these new light bulbs. I have ceiling can lights in my kitchen and my husband changed all the lightbulbs to these. I went into the kitchen turned on the light and it was dark - I was annoyed - I told him to get rid of them!!

Anonymous said...

LAUGHING OUT LOUD TODAY!!