Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Smart People Just Say No to Smarties

STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

The cheapskate in you is considering buying a 12 lb. bag of Smarties to feed the hungry Halloween hordes, but puh-leze, I'm begging here...

DON'T DO IT!!!

I am still traumatized by a childhood of trick-treating only
in my rural neighborhood of cousins and near cousins whose families were cash poor ranchers like mine.  I trudged through the cold night to homes sometimes as far as a half-mile apart only to harvest a disappointing haul of chalky Smarties and 
miniscule Dum Dums; 
both candies that I suspected were confiscated by thrifty aunts and uncles 
from their children's meager haul and recycled year after year.

Besides,  Smartie consumption 
is a gateway drug
to an addiction to baby aspirin.
 
 Which is a gateway drug to
 Necco wafers.
 
Which, when pulverized, 
look just like colorful cocaine
 
JUST SAY NO TO SMARTIES
 

17 comments:

Lucy aka Roeann said...

Easy Peasy. They're not even good. I wonder if I ever did that. Hmmmmmm. Possibly. :(

Vonda said...

Seriously? I LOVE smarties. Still eat them to this day if they show up at work from coworkers shamefully giving away their kids' stashes!

haphazardlife said...

Strange, in Canada Smarties are sort of along the same lines as M&Ms - candy coated chocolate. What you call Smarties seem to be what we call Rockets. Powdery candy. I loved those as a kid; they're actually quite disgusting.

just call me jo said...

I used to love Neccos. I'd take a Smartie over a Skittle any day a raise you one Dum Dum (which I do hate.) But I like candy corn which my husband thinks is of the devil. I hate Whoppers. I hate that texture. Like biting into chocolate covered wallboard...

Anna M said...

Mmmm, Neccos.

I've got full-sized candy bars for the neighbor kids I know and candy sticks for those I do not. Yes, it is snobbish and selective. As it should be.

Connie said...

Thank you so much for the info. I never knew that smarties were a precursor to baby asprin addictions. They should be renamed Dummies! Goodness gracious, what is the world coming to?

Pondside said...

Larainy, you need me to send you some Canadian Smarties - they are not at all like those icky, powdery things you call Smarties in the US.
I urge ALL householders to shell out full size chocolate bars, bars of McIntosh toffee and homemade fudge (at least those in my grandkids' neighbourhood, where I'll be taking them trick or treating).

Bev said...

I NEVER give Smarties. They are always long gone by Halloween...I eat them all myself. I'm with Jo on Whoppers - Just Say No. And I can't be left alone with candy corn. I will eat it until I'm nauseated and sick with a sugar headache...and be longing for it again in 3 days. Surely that is a gateway candy too. No, on second thought, I think candy corn is the serious stuff.

Sue said...

I would NEVER give Smarties. Having said that, for some reason my hubby loves them. And Necco wafers, too.

Ugh.

;)

Joanne said...

I love smarties. And most Necco's. Not much on chocolate, though. Sorry. Lucky for kids in the township (only two little sisters on the whole mile of our road), the downtown merchants all stay open and do it up right. I think the road super has stocked up on 150 boxes of crackerjacks for the town hall!

Grammy Goodwill said...

I think I have a funny story for you about Smarties. I always gave them to my students as treats when they did well. My colleague across the hall gave hers Dum Dums. I told her she was sending the wrong message!

Sam and Melissa said...

Not only am I handing out smarties, I will be taking them out of the packages so they go a lot further :)

Priscilla said...

Oh, my goodness, I just started reading your blog. I can't stop laughing. Can't wait for more. I'm adding you to my Google Reader so I won't miss any posts! (I'm also your newest "follower" - not to be confused with "stocker")

Kim Call said...

I remember that neighborhood and I think I handed out smarties! I stand repented!

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

LOL! Isn't this the truth. Smarties do look like baby aspirin. They are just so sour. I mentioned the other day, that I would be buying candy that we won't mind being stuck with; preferably something chocolate or mabye M&M's.

Dang, too bad you guys didn't get trucked into a rich neighborhood in town. But I guess it built character as well as strong legs.

Happy Halloween, Larainy!

Kathy M.

Michelle Teacress said...

I like Smarties too, but I'm on your side with the Dum-Dums. If you're going to do lolly pops, they HAVE to have bubble gum or tootsie roll inside. I can hear the owl (from the commercial)...One, two, thrrrreeee...*crunch*.

Melynda said...

So I guess Halloween is not the time to be frugal, huh? I did the dumb dumb suckers one year, and for some reason we did not have any trick or treaters and I don't know why, it is not like I put a menu out front....