Friday, April 16, 2010

Big Rock Candy Mountain High

There is a disturbing trend that I feel is

1.  UnAmerican

2.  Undelicious

3.  Unusually harmful to the psyche

What is this trend you might ask?  Well I'll tell you.

Banning sugar from your life

Oh, you might think this is harmless, but once you quit eating delicious Hostess cupcakes, Reeses peanut butter cups, ice cream and the like, you will become so irritable and unloveable that no one will want to be around you and you may:

l.  Get divorced and lose custody of your children because you have denied them Marshmallow Maties and made them eat Bran Flakes

2.  Lose all your milkshake swiggin' friends

3.  Lose your sugar control in a violent outburst , leading to the breaking and entering of a donut shop where the police will find you lying bloated in front of an empty donut display with jelly and powdered sugar on your lips.

If the good Lord 
had wanted us to abstain from sugar
Why did He create

 The Big Rock Candy Mountain?


Anna M said...

My kids LOVE bran flakes. I make them tell me so everyday.

L'Aussie said...

You are so hilarious! Who could possibly live without sugar??

seven smiles said...

Larraine Eddington, you are a hoot.

And I completely agree. I tried it and it WAS NOT PRETTY.

(love, jenny,
Paul & Joanne F's daughter)

Petersen's Puppies said...

Oh the buzzing of the bees...

Allyson & Jere said...

Well, I did give up sugar 2 weeks ago, and in my defense, I have NOT been grumpy and mean. I'm actually enjoying this break from it, I promise. But, I do see your point. Then again, not all of us get the luck of skinny genetics. Boo!

Sue said...

Good point.


Paul C said...

Banning sugar is almost as bad as a radical reduction of salt. Enjoyable post.

Anonymous said...

AMEN, sista!

Shmonae said...

haha :) Very true, very true.

Kim Call said...

If I quit sugar, I'd have to start anti-depressants (or some other equivalent). Thanks for the validation.